Learning to Live Again

Part I

 

Mart,

I hate to ask you to do this, but can you take the load of pumpkins down to the school in Turkey Hollow this afternoon? They need to be there by two. I’d much appreciate it. I’ll be back in a couple of days.

--Andy

 

Mart groaned audibly as he read the note his uncle had left on the bathroom mirror. No, he did not want to take the pumpkins down to Podunkville today, or any other day. He wanted to stay at the lodge in his pajamas and do what he had been doing for the past two months – nothing. He was glad that in the seven years since his only other visit to the lodge deep in the Missouri Ozarks, Andrew Belden had brought in some modern technology. There was a television with satellite dish, a phone, Internet connection and generator. If Mart had wanted to he could’ve stayed in touch with the outside world. Being as he did not want to, he used the TV to watch old re-runs and his lap top and phone only to stay in touch with his parents.

With a sigh that came from his toes, Mart splashed his face with the icy cold water that was piped in from the spring, and took the note to the kitchen.

After filling a large mixing bowl with Frosted Flakes and milk, he sat down at the table and looked at the note again. This was the usual form of communication between the two men who lived in the lodge. Rarely was Andy at home when Mart was awake.

Mart’s parents had been thrilled when Andy had made a surprise visit to Crabapple Farm in August. He hadn’t been to see Chaya in months and they’d hoped that he was ready to be a father again. Instead, he’d offered Mart the job of caretaker at the lodge. After being jilted at the church door, not quite the altar, and graduating from college. Mart wasn’t sure what he wanted to do next. His uncle’s offer had been the answer to every prayer Mart had uttered since April.

Andy had sold the farm in Happy Valley to Ben after Cat’s death. The lodge had become his home base – one that he rarely used for more than a couple weeks at a time. Mart didn’t know where he went all the time and he never bothered to ask. They were just two men running from the past and scared to death of the future.

Slurping down the sugary milk from the bottom of the bowl, Mart came back to the present. Moms had so hoped that by living with Andy, both he and his uncle would begin to heal – to help each other. Not so.

"Dang it Andy! Why today of all days?" Mart shouted angrily to the emptiness of the lodge. He couldn’t remember when he had dropped the ‘Uncle’ it had just happened. He didn’t feel the awe that he had once felt toward his uncle who had seemed so grown up. He knew that his own suffering was nothing in comparison to what Andy had experienced, but it had narrowed the gap between them.

Anyway, he had plans for once. They weren’t fun plans, but they were plans. He should’ve been celebrating today instead of going through broken dreams. A year ago he had proposed to Diana Lynch – his high school sweetheart. She had joyfully accepted. He had been beyond cloud nine and the future had never looked brighter. Then she had eloped with…Mart couldn’t even think his name without wanting to rip someone’s head off. Now a year later, his future had never looked darker or more depressing.

Two o’clock…that meant he had to hitch up the mules to the already loaded cart and leave no later than quarter after one. Glancing at his watch, he swore softly under his breath. It was noon already. He had to start getting up earlier.

"Okay Tweedledee and Tweedledum, let’s look sharp," Mart muttered as he finished hitching the mules to the wagon. Shem and Japheth had been sold years ago when the Moores and Linnie had moved permanently to Point Lookout and Andy had bought his own mules.

Mart had been sorry to hear that the Moores had left, he’d been looking forward to Mrs. Moore’s good down home cooking. He had asked his uncle about the family the first night he had stayed at the lodge, when he had been desperately thinking of something to strike up a conversation with his reserved uncle. Andy wasn’t sure what any of them were doing at present, he thought that Linnie must have graduated from college by now. He knew that Matthew Moore had worked at the School of the Ozarks while Linnie had finished high school. When the school had changed to the College of the Ozarks, Matthew had stayed on, and so had Linnie. Annie Moore had taken a few classes herself and had been working as a nurse in the college’s clinic.

Having never actually been to Turkey Hollow, Mart hoped that he was taking the correct trail. Andy had pointed out the trail one day, saying in his new taciturn manner, "Turkey Hollow school is that way."

Pulling his coat collar up around his neck, Mart wished that he had remembered his heavy gloves. The day was dark and cold. There wasn’t any actual rain, just a miserable drizzle. He also hadn’t remembered the lanterns for the sides of the wagon, so the clouds had better not get any darker. He wasn’t going to stick around at the school – just deliver his pumpkins and be gone. He had things to do.

Unconsciously he began to hum as he continued on his way – the song fitting his mood and the day perfectly – "Paint It Black."

Mart reined in the mules as he neared a freshly painted building in a large clearing. It was larger than he thought a one-room schoolhouse in a place called Turkey Hollow should be. He came to halt near the side of the building. Jumping down from the seat, he looked around. He had kind of expected someone to be waiting for him – not a welcoming committee – just someone to say, "Put the pumpkins over here, sir. Thank you, sir." He really didn’t want to walk in and interrupt their recitations or whatever it was that one did in a one-room schoolhouse.

A raindrop slipping down the back of his shirt made Mart decide to enter the school. He entered a quiet hallway that led to a double door at the back. Halfway down the hall, on each side, were regular doors that stood wide open. Mart glanced in each room and saw that they were empty of students. Muffled sounds came from the far end of the hall.

With a sigh, Mart pulled open one of the heavy doors and found himself in a small gymnasium. For just being a small school in the middle of nowhere, there sure were a lot of kids.

Taking a few steps inside he quickly scanned the room looking for a teacher. All he could see were kids – little ones, big ones and in-between ones.

"Excuse me, may I help you," a voice said behind him.

Mart turned, trying to place the voice. He knew he had heard it before. He found himself facing a woman with a billowy mass of blue-black hair that must have reached her waist. She looked to be about his sister’s age. The most striking thing about this woman were her eyes. They were a deep clear blue.

"May I help you?" the woman repeated.

Mart shook himself, realizing that he’d been staring. No, this couldn’t be… "Um, yes, um, I brought the uh, pumpkins."

Cocking her head slightly to the left, she said, "Pumpkins?"

Swallowing, Mart asked, "This is Turkey Hollow school, isn't it?"

"Yes, but Andrew Belden was supposed to bring us pumpkins for the annual pumpkin carving contest," the look of puzzlement hadn't left the blue eyes, "at least that's what Miss McCrae left in her notes. I've only been here a week."

The more she spoke and the longer he looked at her, Mart felt that he knew her from somewhere. "Andy had planned on bringing them over, but he wasn't able to at the last minute and asked me to. Where would you like them?"

Now the teacher was looking at him strangely. Mart wished that he had taken a little more care in his appearance before he left the lodge - he hadn't shaved in at least a week and these were the same clothes that he had worn the past three days.

With a slight shake of her head, she answered, "Just bring your wagon around back. A few of the boys will help you get them unloaded." Turning towards a group of junior high age boys who were setting up tables she called, "Fred, Angus, Young Bill - go around back and be ready to unload Mr. Andy' s pumpkins please."

A chorus of "Yes, Ma'am," followed the three out the door.

With a nod, Mart murmured, "Yes, Ma'am," himself and followed the young men.

Linnie Moore couldn't believe it. Mart Belden was back! She hadn't thought about him in years. He had been her first real crush, all those summers ago when he, his brother and sister and their friends had visited Andrew Belden at his lodge next to her small cabin.

She remembered every moment of that week that the Bob-Whites had visited from New York. It had been one of the most incredible weeks of her life - if not the most incredible week. Her first crush and her father's return from the dead.

Watching the exiting form of the man who had fueled her schoolgirl dreams of romance, Linnie grinned foolishly. She remembered the excitement that she had felt when she had danced with Mart at the play party she and her mom had organized. She thought back fondly of the tense half hour that they had shared sitting in the darkness of the lodge's living room waiting for Trixie to try and sneak out to find her ghost fish.

Linnie wondered what had brought him back to this part of the country. She had lost touch with the New Yorkers shortly after she had graduated from high school - life had gotten so busy as she worked hard to graduate from college earlier than most. She knew that he had been seriously dating Di, one of the Bob-Whites who hadn't made the summer trip seven years ago, all through high school.

"I wonder if he remembers me?" she murmured softly to herself as she went to the back door to see if any help was needed there.

 

'That couldn't be Linnie Moore,' Mart thought as he took the wagon around back of the gymnasium. He couldn't get out of his mind the skinny little mountain girl with her black pigtails who believed in haunts and sang so beautifully the songs of the Ozarks. He wondered if she remembered him at all. He'd been so obnoxious and cocky when he was a teenager. She probably just remembered a walking dictionary who was always hungry if she remembered him at all. He smiled slightly as he remembered her patiently teaching him the Virginia Reel at the play party. And also how she too had been worried that Trixie would take off in the middle of the night to the ghost cabin and had sat up waiting for her. They'd spent a tense half hour in the dark, just waiting and whispering.

"Sir, if you would just pull up right about here, we can get them unloaded," a freckled blond boy said as Mart reached the back door.

It took Mart and the three boys a few moments to unload the huge pile of pumpkins. They worked quietly until Mart asked, "So, what do you all do with these pumpkins?"

The three looked at him in surprise. The blond, who Mart had learned was Angus, answered in astonishment, "The Pumpkin Carving Contest, of course."

"Oh," Mart said lamely, feeling that he had probably just asked the stupidest question that these kids had ever heard.

From the doorway, Linnie came to Mart's rescue, "Every Halloween for as long as I can remember, there has been a pumpkin carving contest at Turkey Hollow School. Homes here are too spread out for normal trick-or-treating, so we have a big party for all the families here at the school. There are games and food and prizes, but the most exciting part is the contest for the best pumpkin carving."

Before Mart could respond, Fred, the largest of the three boys asked, "You're not from around these parts are you, mister?"

"No, I'm just helping out Andy for awhile," Mart answered, not wanting to go into any more detail.

That answer seemed to suffice the curiosity of the boys and they returned to the warmth of the gym. Mart got ready to begin the return trip to the lodge. He could feel Linnie's eyes on his back and he could feel himself reddening.

"Thank you, Mart, for bringing the pumpkins for your uncle."

She did remember him. Mart took a deep breath. "No problem, Linnie. No problem at all." He turned around and smiled, "How are you?"

'How am I? I feel better than I've ever felt before!' Linnie felt like shouting. Instead she replied demurely, "I'm fine. I'm back to the mountains that I love, doing what I love."

"That's great," Mart wasn't sure what else to say. With a quick look at his watch, he decided that it was time to leave.

"Is Andy still coming to judge tomorrow night?" Linnie asked as he climbed into the seat of the wagon.

"Judge what?" Mart asked.

"The pumpkins. When he donated the pumpkins, he said that he'd also judge the final results," Linnie could tell from Mart's expression that this was news to him and that Andy wasn't going to be judging.

"Darn that man!" Mart said angrily. Andy had neglected to mention that in his note. Now Mart was going to have to do the judging.

"Don't worry about it, you aren't obligated to do it," Linnie said quickly, not liking the expression in Mart's eyes.

"Do you have anyone else to judge?" Mart asked, curbing his temper.

"Not at present," Linnie smiled, "Andy's perfect because he's not related to any of the kids. He's about the only person we can find that fits that description in these parts."

Mart nodded, that made sense. "I'm kind of busy, but if Andy doesn't show and if I have time, I could come and judge in his place." 'What are you saying Belden, first you lie…you're not busy, you're stagnant. And secondly, you're volunteering to join the human race for an evening.'

"That would be great if it's not an inconvenience to you," Linnie smiled again. "The party starts at six thirty. If you arrived a bit early I could go over the judging requirements with you."

"If I can make it, I'll be here," Mart replied gruffly, "I need to get back to the lodge before it gets too much darker." With a tip of his baseball cap he drove around the building.

Linnie stood there for several moments watching his departure. There was something different about Mart Belden. There was no happiness in him. He was like a lantern with no kerosene. Something must have happened that hurt him badly.

Part II

 

"Tweedles - why did I get myself involved in this social function?" Mart sighed to the mules as he hitched them to the wagon for the second day in a row. He didn't want to spend Halloween evening judging a pumpkin carving contest in the backwoods of Missouri. He was pretty sure he'd be able to get the horror movie marathon that was being shown on satellite.

He looked Tweedledee square in the eye and asked again, "Why am I doing this?"

The mule didn't respond orally like Balaam's donkey in the Old Testament, but Tweedledee seemed to be telling him, "You are doing this because it is time to get on with your life. You don't want to end up like your uncle."

Mart glared angrily at the animal and growled, "I am nothing like Andy! I did not abandon my daughter with my brother and his family when my wife died!"

An annoying voice in his head replied, "No, you didn't. But you didn't have a daughter to abandon or a wife to lose."

"A wife to lose? I lost my wife fifteen minutes before she was to become my wife! I'd rather she died instead of leaving me like that. I'll never have to worry about abandoning a child because without Diana I'll never have any!" He was yelling now, and tears were starting to roll down his face. "What is the point of it all? Without Di, what is there left in my life?" The mules stood there silently, watching as he raged at himself.

Mart continued to argue and sob, letting out so much of the pain that he had been holding in since April. Once again, his thoughts turned to his "alternate" plan - suicide. Some days that seemed like such an easier way. But thoughts of his mother always kept him from going through with it. Now, not even the vision of his mother was helping. He stood and turned toward the path to the lake, going over in his mind what he had thought about so many times before. As he started down the path, a different face came to his mind. It wasn't his mother, but the quiet "schoolmarm" he'd spoken with yesterday.

Linnie's soft "Thank you, Mart," echoed in his ears.

Why had he thought of her just now? And why was the thought making him stop in his tracks and turn back to the mules; abandoning the path that led to his "solution." He'd seen something in Linnie's eyes that touched him somewhere that he thought could never be reached again.

Soberly, he finished hitching the mules and began the twilight journey to the small schoolhouse in the woods.

*     *      *

Nervously Linnie checked the refreshment table for the fifth time in as many minutes. She so hoped that this annual gathering would go over well. She remembered from her own childhood how much fun the Pumpkin Carving Contest was - and all the other activities that went along with it.

What she had never realized was that her teacher had been the organizer of the whole event. In fact, she was now quite sure that Miss McCrae had instituted the whole party so that the children were able to see how people in the "Great World" celebrated the day. Linnie was beginning to see how much Miss McCrae had done to expose her students to life beyond what the Ozark mountains contained and sometimes she didn't feel up to the job.

She glanced at the clock on the gym wall with a sigh - quarter after six. It didn't look like Mart Belden was going to be coming after all. She tried to pretend that it didn't matter that much, but it did. She wondered whom she could get as judge at such a short notice. ‘I should've talked to someone last night or earlier today,’ she thought, mentally kicking herself, "but I was so sure that he would come.’

Mart was something else that had her on edge. She had thought that she had forgotten all about her crush years ago. And even if she hadn't, she wouldn't have thought that it would affect her in such a way now. She felt as if she were fourteen again. 'Why do I need to impress him?' she thought, as she glanced down at her costume. It wasn't much of a costume, but it worked. She had actually worn it last year to a Halloween dance at college. One of her friends in the certification program had told her that she would make a good gypsy - that she had the hair and the coloring - except her eyes. So she had rummaged through her own clothes and hit a couple of thrift stores in town to find the right get-up.

It was a little different from the usual Turkey Hollow costumes - witches and ghosts were about as creative as the locals got. Her black body suit fit like a glove. The skirt, one of those clingy broomstick things that had been "in" a few years before, was a hideous mixture of black, red, purple and green with silver thread making leaf shapes here and there. The tiny bells she had sewn along the hem spread a tinkling sound as she moved. A sash of silver and gold silk at her waist and a matching scarf in her hair finished off the ensemble. Thanks to her Cherokee great-great-great grandmother, she tanned easily, so she was able to keep the make-up to a minimum.

She almost hadn't dressed up, then remembered that Miss McCrae had always dressed up. She had come as a witch for the nine years Linnie had attended Turkey Hollow School, and she was willing to bet a month's pay that she had used the same costume every year of her career.

"Linnie?"

Startled, she jumped, dropping the bag of candy corn she was holding.

Mart Belden hurried to her side, "I'm sorry. I thought you heard me come in." He knelt down and began gathering the candies.

Smiling sheepishly, Linnie replied, "My thoughts were elsewhere. I'm glad you were able to make it." She joined him on the floor and continued, "Do you think you're up to a wild night in Turkey Hollow?"

Mart laughed softly, "I guess I'll have to be."

Hurriedly Linnie went over the plans for the party and told Mart what to look for when judging the pumpkins. She knew she was talking too fast and repeating herself, 'Calm down, deep breath, it's okay,’ her mind chided as she wound up her explanation.

Miraculously, Mart understood what he needed to. And as Linnie finished explaining how she would make sure each pumpkin received some kind of award, the first "haunts" entered the gymnasium.

 

Mart had thought that he'd just slap a few ribbons on some squash and then be out of there. That wasn't the case. He found himself helping with the other activities - calling numbers at a cake walk, replenishing apples in the bobbing pail, and handing out yard stick "fishing poles" at the prize pool. Somehow, he seemed to be wherever Linnie needed help. By the end of the night, he couldn’t recall her asking him to do any of the extra things he did, but he had known that was where she needed someone to be. He also realized that he had actually enjoyed himself.

"Mart, you didn't have to stay and help clean," Linnie called to Mart as she added the last chair to the stack against the wall.

Mart looked up from the push broom he was using at the other end of the gym and grinned, "I know, but I figured that I might as well."

Linnie looked at him in surprise; it was the first smile she'd seen on his face that really looked heartfelt. However, as quickly as it appeared, it was gone.

Mart quickly and efficiently finished sweeping the room and then replaced the broom in the janitor's closed. When he returned to the gym he found Linnie alone, the other three people that had helped take down the last of the decorations were gone. "Is that all?" he asked softly.

"Yep, that's all. Thank you again for all your help. You did much more than you needed to do," Linnie hoped that he felt the sincerity of her words.

"It was nothing, " Mart replied, trying to figure out why a flood of happiness filled his body for a moment. "I'm glad that I was able to help you. It was…" he paused, looking for the word he wanted.

"An experience? Better than sitting home watching horror movies that aren't as scary as you pretend they are?" Linnie asked quietly.

In shock, he looked at her. Had she been reading his mind? He didn't remember mentioning the movies to her. "Um, actually I was going to say fun. How did you know that I had thought about staying home and watching a horror marathon?"

Coloring she answered, "I didn't know that was your plan…but it's what I would've done if I hadn't had this to come to. And, I'm glad."

"That neither of us watched the horror-fest?" Mart was a little lost.

"No, glad that you had fun." She giggled, "But I guess I’m glad that we didn't indulge in the movies either…the locals would've been disappointed."

He liked to hear her laugh. What else could he say to her to get her to laugh again? What was he thinking?! He was a heartbroken recluse who would never enjoy life again! Gruffly, to cover his feelings, he asked, "So, you have satellite?" That seemed surprising to him.

"Actually, no. Miss McCrae does and I’m renting her home for the rest of the year. It's nice. You'd be surprised though at how many people around here have satellite dishes. The 20^th century is finally kicking in now that it is nearly over."

"You're kidding!" Mart plopped down on the floor in exaggerated surprise, "I didn't even think most people had televisions."

Joining him on the floor with a tinkling of bells that echoed her laughter, Linnie responded, "Well, ten years ago very few people did. Your uncle didn’t have one when you visited did he?"

Mart shook his head, "He didn't even have electricity then."

"Things change, don't they?" Linnie asked absently as she played with the tiny bells on her hem.

Making a noise that was a cross between a grunt and a snort, Mart abruptly rose to his feet. "I should be heading home. I need to get going early in the morning."

From her position on the floor, Linnie looked up and questioned, "You have a lot to do tomorrow?"

"Um, yeah, things to do you know…" his voice faded out. He had a feeling that Linnie knew he was lying. She was a teacher after all and teachers always seemed to have the innate ability to know when you were lying.

"I see," she said softly and got to her feet, ignoring his outstretched hand that was offered belatedly. "Thank you again for all your help, Mart, I couldn't have done it without you. Tell Andy thanks for the pumpkins."

"No problem." 

Linnie led the way out of the gym, pausing to turn off the lights. When they reached the front doors, Mart opened the door and held it for Linnie. Picking up a battered backpack from one of the rooms and grabbing a crimson jacket from a coat rack, she followed him.

Pulling a flashlight from her coat pocket, she shone it on the path to the shed where Mart had left his mules. "If you hurry you'll make it home for the last movie," she said.

Moving down the path in the glow of the light, Mart returned, "The last one didn't sound much like a horror movie."

"Audrey Rose? Oh, it's not a blood and guts scary movies, but it's scary. Or at least it was," she amended, "when I saw it a few years ago. I watched it one Halloween in college with a bunch of friends - it freaked me out."

"A psychological thriller?" Mart asked as he led the mules out to the wagon and began to hitch them up.

"I guess you could say that. Anthony Hopkins is in it - pre-Silence of the Lambs, Zorro, Remains of the Day, Shadowlands and just about anything else I've seen him do."

"Hmm, maybe I'll watch it after all," Mart climbed to the seat and picked up the reins. 'Idiot,' he thought, 'you didn't offer her a ride.' "Linnie, can I give you a ride home?"

The smile that did something funny to his insides broke out across her face, "You don’t have to, Miss McCrae’s house isn’t that far."

Lamely he said, "It’s dark out, you shouldn’t be walking alone."

Wisely, she bit back a silly retort. Mart seemed to switch moods faster than she could keep up with them. She had yet to figure out what triggered the changes so she decided to go along with him.

In a smooth movement, she joined him on the wagon seat and gave directions. "Head up the trail like you’re going to your uncle’s lodge."

Mart obliged and turned the mules homeward, "Come on Tweedles, move out." The glow of the lanterns he had hung on each side of the wagon illuminated the way just enough for the mules and their driver to know that they were still on the trail.

"Tweedles?" Linnie asked.

"Yeah," Mart grinned in the darkness; "Cat named them Tweedledee and Tweedledum."

The laugh that found the same hidden parts of his soul that her smile had touched rang out in the darkness, making everything seem lighter than it really was. "I like that. Who is Cat?"

"Was," Mart responded automatically. "Cat was Catriona, Andy’s wife."

"Andy’s married?" Bill had never mentioned that to her father, or if he had, Matthew Moore had never mentioned it to his daughter.

"Yeah, he got married about five years ago."

"Wasn’t that when he went to Scotland?" Linnie interrupted.

Mart nodded, "They met there. He brought her back and got married at Crabapple Farm. A year and a half ago she was killed in a botched hold-up at an AM/PM. She’d just ran in to get aspirin or something."

"Oh," Linnie now knew why the mountain folk had such a somber expression when they talked of Andrew Belden.

"You know, he’s gotten rid of everything that had any connection to her, except these silly mules," With a bitter laugh he added, "He even farmed their daughter off on my parents. Poor kid." Abruptly changing the topic once more, Mart asked, "Where’s your place?"

Linnie had forgotten that she was supposed to be giving directions. "Right before the main road turn left onto that little path."

Within moments Mart had found the turn off and reached Linnie’s front door.

Hopping down she spoke again, "Thanks for the ride. I’m sorry about Andy…I never knew."

"He doesn’t talk much about it," Mart said. "Well, I guess I'll see you around." His mind emptied suddenly of anything else to say.

The words out of her mouth before her mind could control her heart, Linnie heard herself ask, "Mart would you like to come in? Have some hot chocolate or something?"

"No thanks," he said sharply, "I need to get back." As he spoke, he began to turn the mules. He didn’t want to look at her face and see any emotion there.

"Another time then, maybe," she said softly to the retreating wagon.

She shrugged her shoulders and entered the tiny dark cottage that Miss McCrae had left. Glad once again that electricity had finally reached her backwoods home; Linnie hurriedly switched on all the lights. It wasn’t just the darkness of the Halloween night she wanted to banish; it was the darkness that Mart Belden was carrying around inside. What was it Isaiah had written? Something about one who "walketh in darkness and hath no light." That was Mart. She remembered how she had mentally compared him to an empty lantern the day before. A few times tonight she thought that she had seen a flicker of light in his face, but as quickly as it came it was gone.

She jumped suddenly at the soft knock on her door. It was almost midnight, who could it be? Somehow she knew who it would be as she opened the door.

"Linnie, I’m sorry," Mart spoke quickly, as if he were afraid he might change his mind, "I don’t mean to be rude, I…it’s just…I’ve…"

"It’s okay, Mart, really," Linnie patted his arm, "Don’t worry."

"I’ll explain sometime, I really will. Just now…" he paused and looked up at the twinkling stars and took a deep breath. "I really enjoyed myself tonight. And I’d like to take a raincheck on the hot chocolate."

"No problem. You know where to find me – here or at the school." Linnie smiled happily.

"I’ll find you," Mart said, returning her smile, "I’m always looking for a good cup of hot chocolate. Good-night!"

"Good-night, Mart," Linnie stood in the doorway and watched him leave again. This time she felt better. Maybe the lantern would shine again.

Part III

Mart rode the rest of the distance to the lodge in silence. The night didn’t seem quite as dark anymore. The memory of Linnie’s laughter and smile pushed the shadows, both physical and mental, away as he reached home.

Humming to himself as he entered the kitchen, he switched on the lights and grabbed the phone before going into the big living room. Throwing himself on the couch, he reached for the most recent letter from his mother. The number he needed was there.

In a couple of minutes, he heard the familiar, yet sleepy voice of his sister saying,

"Huh?"

"Profound as usual, Trix," Mart grinned at her greeting.

"Who is this?" Trixie asked groggily, shaking her head and squinting to see the bedside clock that was half-hidden by a pile of books.

"You don’t know who I am?" Mart laughed, "I’m hurt."

"Okay, whoever you are, you’re starting to weird me out." Trixie tried to keep any fear from her voice.

"Trix, it’s me – Mart."
Trixie collapsed on her bed with a sigh of relief. That was the last time she stayed up late on Halloween reading Mary Higgins Clark.

"Trix, are you there?" Mart was beginning to feel a little worried.

Propping herself up against her head board and wrapping a quilt snuggly around her shoulders, Trixie answered her brother.

"I’m here, Mart, I just wasn’t expecting…."

"You weren’t expecting to hear from me," Mart interrupted wryly.

"No, I just wasn’t expecting to hear from anyone at one in the morning."

"Sorry, I wasn’t thinking about the time," Mart admitted as he glanced at the old grandfather clock in the corner of the room that had must passed midnight.

"Been out trick-or-treating?" Trixie asked lightly.

To say that she was surprised to hear from her brother Mart was an understatement. Shocked was a better word. Since Di had left him, Trixie had only spoken with him two or three times. And that had been when she had been home for a week or so in the summer. Mart had left his room rarely; not even meal time had brought him out, which was definitely not Mart’s usual behavior.

So many times, she had wanted to pick up the phone and call her "almost-twin," but she had never been able to make herself take that step. Moms had told her that he needed some space and when he was ready, he would let her know. This "experiment" in the Ozarks didn’t seem to be working. At twenty-one, patience still wasn’t one of her strong points. But now it looked like it was paying off.

"Well, kind of," Mart smiled as he thought about how he had spent his evening.

Trixie was curious – no question about it. But she was afraid to probe too much. Just to hear him talk was enough.

Continuing Mart said, "You don’t exactly trick-or-treat around here, you know."
Remembering back to the visit they had made to the lodge with their friends as teenagers, Trixie knew what he meant. Houses were kind of sparse.

"I can see what you mean," Trixie replied, "So what did you do?"

"I went to a party."

"What?" Trixie exclaimed.

"Don’t sound so surprised. You’d think that I was an eccentric recluse or something." Mart was visualizing the expression he knew would be on his sister’s face. Blue eyes wide with surprise, blond curls in disarray from sleep, and her mouth hanging open.

Forgetting her earlier decision not to probe and to let Mart do all the talking, Trixie began, "Something like that! I don’t think I would’ve been more surprised if Jim’s old Uncle James had shown up at one of our Thanksgiving Open Houses!" Softening her tone she finished, "It’s great though, that you are getting out."

Mart chuckled, "Great! Compare me to Old Man Frayne. I didn’t realize that I was that bad!"

"You’re not," Trixie hastily assured him, "That was a lame comparison." Wanting to change the subject she asked, "So how is Uncle Andrew doing?"

Mart snorted and muttered something under his breath that she didn’t catch.

"What?"

"Oh, well, Andy’s not around much. He’s gone more days that he’s here. That’s how I ended up at this party thing."

"How’s that?" Trixie asked, happiness filling her as they quickly eased into the familiar relaxed mode of discussing the goings-on of their lives. When they had both gone off to college, they had discovered that they were really good friends and valued the other’s opinion on what they did.

"He left me a note yesterday asking me to drop off some pumpkins at the school. They were for some pumpkin carving contest." Mart paused, remembering how angry he had been the other morning with that note – now he was actually kind of glad that he had gone.

"This contest was at the party?"

"Yeah, and I guess Andy had volunteered to judge it – which he neglected to mention in his note. I didn’t want to and when Linnie asked I said I probably wouldn’t make it… but then for some reason I decided to go." The smile sprung back to his face.

"Linnie? As in Linnie Moore?" This was an unexpected, yet pleasant surprise.

"Uh-huh. Linnie Moore - she’s one of the teachers at Turkey Hollow."

"She accomplished her goal of becoming a teacher – that’s terrific!" Trixie said.

"She just came back here. She did a great job with this Halloween extravaganza." Mart continued to tell Trixie about the party and why it was held.

Trixie couldn’t suppress the smile that broke out across her own face. As she listened to Mart describe the activities of the evening; she heard happiness in his voice for the first time in a long while. She had missed hearing those tones in his voice.

Mart’s broken relationship with Di had been hard on everyone. Di was one of Trixie’s closet friends. As angry as she had been when Di had sent a messenger with a note to Mart instead of showing up for her wedding, Trixie had been relieved. She loved both her brother and her friend dearly, but she just didn’t think that they were right for each other. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she knew that neither Mart nor Diana was as happy as they could really be. They had both changed a lot since high school, and she sometimes thought that Mart wasn’t aware of it.

Suddenly she became aware of silence on the other end.

"Mart?" she asked guiltily, realizing that she had missed the end of what Mart had said.

"Did you fall asleep?" Mart asked, his hurt coming through the joking tone of his question.

"No, I was just," she didn’t want to tell him she was thinking about him being better off without Di and vice versa. "I was just thinking about how glad I am to hear from you and how happy you sound."

Once again, there was silence on the Missouri end.

‘Happy? She thinks I sound happy?’ Mart wanted to laugh. For someone as astute as Trixie, how could she think he was happy?

"I don’t know if happy is the word, Sis, but I’m not feeling like the world has ended anymore."

"You just need to get out and mingle!"

Feigning shock, Mart responded, "I can’t believe you said the "M" word! And one doesn’t exactly mingle in Turkey Hollow."

Both Beldens laughed. The name definitely didn’t conjure up visions of huge parties or other such social gatherings where mingling was necessary.

Looking at her alarm clock, Trixie sighed, "I hate to say this, but I really need to get back to sleep. I have a test tomorrow plus a couple of deadlines."

"I understand. I shouldn’t have called so late. Deadlines for the paper?"

"Yeah, and an exchange program application I’m thinking about doing – if I get in."

"You’ll get in – no problem. Your Spanish is good enough." He didn’t even have to ask – he knew she was applying for a program in Spain. Since their trip to Spain several years before she’d been almost obsessed with the thoughts of returning.

"Thanks for your confidence…I’ll let you know how things turn out. Call me anytime – as long as I can do the same."

"Sure – I don’t go anywhere." For some reason, the thought of his inactive life made him feel depressed.

"Go do things!" Trixie almost shouted. Then throwing caution to the wind, asked, "Are you going to see Linnie again?"

Defensively he asked, "Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted you to say "Hi" and give her my email address," Trixie said innocently, "We used to email frequently."

"Oh," relaxing he added, "Yeah, she invited me in for hot chocolate tonight and I was a jerk." Rushing to explain himself, he finished, "But I went back and apologized and asked her for a rain check."

"Did she give you one?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going to see her again?"

"Maybe."

Trixie decided to leave it at that. She didn’t want to push too far on his first return to contact with the human race.

"I’ll tell her you said hi," Mart added, "and now I’ll let you get to sleep."

"Good-night."

"’Night, Trix."

*     *      *

With the phone still in his hand, Mart continued to sit in silence on the couch. It was good to talk to Trixie – it was something he should’ve done earlier. He still couldn’t believe that she thought he sounded happy. Reflecting back on the evening, Mart realized that he had had a pleasant time.

He crossed the room to the big picture window that overlooked Lake Wamatosa. The moonlight shone across the lake making a silver path in the water that led directly to the entry of Bob-White Cave.

Mart wondered if it was still as beautiful as it had been when they had first discovered it. He knew that the few years that had passed weren’t comparable to the eons that had created the cave. Enough time hadn’t passed to return the cave to what it had been before Slim’s blind rampage, but he hoped that the signs had been smoothed over and were maybe less noticeable.

Maybe I should check it out. I could ask Linnie to come along and we could take a picnic or something. Savagely he shook his head. A date? He couldn’t ask someone out on a date! Why he was…

Why not? Another voice in his head whispered. Diana is married now. It’s not like you would be cheating on her. That didn’t help him. He still felt committed to Diana; he still felt engaged. Was it always going to be like this?

*     *      *

Trixie shook her head. She still couldn’t believe that Mart had called her. According to Moms, he’d only called them once since he’d left. Moms wrote him weekly and he sent short stilted e-mails in return and that was it.

Even though it was almost 2 AM, Trixie knew she needed to call and let her parents know that the old Mart was on the way back.

Linnie Moore…they’d lost touch over the past few years – since shortly after Trixie went to college. She’d always liked Linnie. Now she was someone she could see Mart with. Maybe some good with come out of this whole Ozark "experiment" after all.

*     *      *

"What?" Peter Belden’s voice, made deeper with sleep and the apprehension that comes with middle of the night calls, came across the miles to his only daughter.

"Hey, Dad, it’s me, Trixie. Sorry to call at such an awful time, but I wanted to let you and Moms know…" she paused, for some reason she felt like she was going to cry. "Well, Mart just called me. He’s going to be alright, Dad."

 Part IV

"That was quite a sigh. It sounds like it came from your toes!"

Linnie looked up from the stack of papers she was grading and half smiled at her co-worker.

"Is the end of the quarter always like this? Tons of papers to sort through and grade, percentages to mess with and comments that become repetitive by the time you reach your last report card?"

Jessica Craig replied sympathetically, "Yes, that's pretty much how it goes. Welcome to the teaching profession, Linnie."

"Well, at least there's no school today - thank goodness."

"Thank the calendar committee," Jessica retorted. "Ian and I convinced Miss McCrae and the board to schedule the calendar this way every year. After the Halloween party the kids are really too wired to do anything. So instead of wasting the day and everyone going home frustrated, we just schedule it as one of our work days."

"That's a good plan. If we didn't have this day, I don't know how I'd have report cards ready by next Friday," Linnie shook her head, "Miss McCrae left me a bunch of things to grade."

Jessica patted Linnie's shoulder; "First year teaching is hard enough without coming in mid-stream like you have done. You're doing a terrific job, by the way."

Another smile flitted across Linnie's serious face, "Really? I feel like I'm just barely one step ahead of the kids."

"Don’t we all feel that way?" Jessica sat down on one of the student desks directly in front of Linnie's desk; "Seriously, Linnie, you are doing a great job. You know how to handle the kids and their behavior - that is the most difficult skill to develop. You’re also acquainted with the area and the majority of the families, which really makes things easier." Ruefully Jessica continued, "I've been here five years and I still get lost going to Laurel."

Linnie thanked Jessica, remembering that she was originally from St. Louis and found the Ozark mountains, even though part of her home state, a foreign country. Linnie wasn't sure why Jessica chose to stay.

"Another thing, you did a superb job with the Halloween party. It was wonderful. A lot like Miss McCrae did, but even better."

Linnie's smile stayed this time as she replied, "That was easy. After participating in one every year for nine years, it really wasn't hard to organize it. And Miss McCrae did leave everything planned out perfectly."

The talk of the party reminded Jessica of something she’d been meaning to ask Linnie. "Say, Linnie, who was the man helping you last night?"

Much to her chagrin, Linnie felt herself blushing as she said, "That was Mart Belden."

Noting the blush, Jessica decided to probe further. Now was as good a time as any to get to know her reserved new colleague. "Belden? Isn’t that who was donating the pumpkins? I thought Miss McCrae said that he was in his late thirties."

"Andrew Belden is the one who donated the pumpkins – he’s been doing that for several years. Mart is his nephew."

"Are they locals? I don’t remember hearing the name before – even with the pumpkins. I though Bill Hawkins usually brought the pumpkins."

"I think that Bill has been taking care of Andy’s lodge for the past few years. Andrew Belden’s been up in Iowa, I think, and just moved back here." Linnie liked Jessica, but didn’t feel comfortable going into the details of Andy’s life. She finished what she hoped would be a suitable explanation for Jessica with, "Andy’s not a local. He’s originally from New York. His nephew is just visiting for awhile. He’s also from New York."

"It’s about time that we got some new blood in these mountains," Jessica said thoughtfully, "And good-looking blood too."

Linnie didn’t respond, so Jessica kept prodding, "If they’re new, how do you know so much about them?" This was one of the most interesting things to happen in Turkey Hollow since she’d taken this job four years earlier and Jessica decided to let her curiosity have free rein. "You’ve been gone for years."

With a sigh of resolution Linnie replied, "My mother cooked and kept house for Andrew Belden years ago. He had purchased some land here with money he made after selling off a large part of his farm in Iowa. Land in the Ozarks is cheap, for obvious reasons," Linnie added with a smile. "The land he bought bordered the small property that my great-grandparents had settled long ago. My mother and I were living there. She refused to sell; even when the realtor told her his buyer would pay top dollar. Lots of folks around thought she was crazy because she sure could’ve used the money. Andy Belden came down and built his lodge with the help of Bill Hawkins and some other locals. He needed a cook and a housekeeper – he was planning on having fishing and hunting groups here – and he did for awhile."

Linnie’s tone softened as she continued, "Mama interviewed for the job and got it without a problem. We stayed in our cabin and cooked and cleaned for Mr. Belden and his guests. He treated us like family. Even tried to help us find out what had happened to my daddy." Linnie’s voice had naturally fallen into the rhythm and drawl of the Ozarks, something that Jessica had not yet heard from her. Linnie’s usual speaking voice was more refined, much like the people Jessica had grown up with in St. Louis.

"Mart is one of Andy’s nephews. Seven years ago, he came to visit with his brother and sister and some of their friends from New York State. It was while they were here that my daddy found us. That fall I started at the School of the Ozarks. A year later my parents moved out to join me so that we wouldn’t be separated any longer. I’m not sure when Andy left or when exactly he came back. The few times that my parents and I came back to visit the cabin, he was never around. Bill kept up the lodge and the garden. Mart is just visiting his uncle for awhile."

Jessica had sat quietly as Linnie had shared her brief story. There were several things that she wanted to know more about, but she didn’t feel she should push any further for more information. She had watched closely as many emotions played across Linnie’s delicate features. Happiness, sadness, utter joy and lastly confusion tinged with excitement all flickered over her face. Jessica had a suspicion that the appearance of Mart Belden in the Ozarks meant more to Linnie than she revealed.

"Are you two getting a lot of work done in here?"

Linnie and Jessica turned toward the door and saw Ian Nielson, the third teacher at the school.

Jessica smiled sweetly and replied, "Of course we are, Ian, what did you expect?"

Turning back to Linnie she said quickly, "Ian is taking over the slave driver/mother hen position that Lucinda held for centuries, so you must forgive him."

Linnie still wasn’t used to hearing Miss McCrae referred to by her first name, so it took her a few seconds to register what Jessica was saying.
Ian hurried to defend himself. "That’s not it at all Jess, and you know it. I just don’t want the board to get angry with any of us if the reports aren’t done on time. Remember last year?"

Apparently Jessica did remember, because she immediately became serious and headed toward the door saying, "Well, Linnie, we’d better get back to the grind." She paused at the door and looked back, "I really enjoyed talking with you – we should do that more often." With a genuine smile and a half wave, she was gone.

Ian, too, turned to leave and then stopped. Linnie waited expectantly. She was sure that Ian had something he felt was important to say. She still hadn’t decided if she was more comfortable around Ian, who was condescending to her most of the time, or Jessica, who jumped from topic to topic and Linnie was never sure what she was really thinking.

"Linnie, you did an absolutely wonderful job with the Halloween Party. Lucinda couldn’t have done better."

"Thanks, Ian. Actually that was a lot easier than this," she motioned to the pile of papers in a letter tray marked TO BE GRADED, "I participated in so many Halloween parties that Miss McCrae planned while I was growing up that organizing one was a piece of cake."

"I don’t think it was actually a piece of cake, Linnie, but you made it look that way." Ian had been worried when the board had told him that the teacher that was going to take Lucinda McCrae’s place was a new teacher, right out of college, with no formal teaching experience. He had been teaching at Turkey Hollow School for six years. Upon Lucinda’s sudden decision to retire, he became the principal. He didn’t feel as if he would be able to take the additional burden of mentoring a new teacher along with all of his new administrative duties.

Once Linnie arrived, however, he found that she was incredibly competent for a first year teacher, and the unique challenges that went with a rural classroom with multiple grades in the same room didn’t phase her a bit. Soon he discovered that Linnie was an alumnus of Turkey Hollow School and that impressed him even more. He knew that the majority of the children from Turkey Hollow School didn’t get many opportunities to further their education.

"How are your report cards coming?" he asked, hoping that she wasn’t having too many problems with them.

"Well, once I get this grading caught up, doing the actual report cards won’t take very long. You explained the procedures very well yesterday." Ian had met with Linnie for over an hour, explaining each section of the report card and what she should include in comments. When the meeting had ended, Linnie had felt like stringing Ian up. She understood he was under pressure as the new principal, but he’d treated her like a small child as he’d explained each portion. She only had 15 students in her third, fourth and fifth grades class. Jessica had 23 in her kindergarten through second room and Ian himself had around 20 sixth, seventh and eighth graders. What was taking her so long was to grading the papers that Miss McCrae had left. It didn’t appear that she had graded anything since school had begun in late August.

"Grading caught up?" Ian looked at her in surprise. "You shouldn’t have that much to grade with having only been here a couple of weeks. Just combine your scores with those that Lucinda left."

Gritting her teeth, Linnie explained to Ian what she had told him yesterday afternoon, "Miss, err, Lucinda, didn’t leave any scores. She left several stacks of papers with a Post-it that read, ‘Please grade.’ Every evening I’ve been grading as many papers as I can." That even included last night. After the party and her ride home from Mart, she’d been unable to sleep. She’d graded papers until three in the morning.

Taken aback, Ian stared at her for a few moments. He didn’t know what to tell her. He’d assumed that Lucinda had left grades. If he remembered correctly, that had been one of the conditions that the board had insisted upon when she had informed them that she was leaving three weeks before the quarter ended. "Are you sure that she didn’t leave you any grades anywhere? Maybe with all that you’ve had to do with getting the Halloween party organized you overlooked those."

The lack of sleep from the night before was starting to effect Linnie. She just wanted to be able to get her work done. Her voice quiet and low as she stood to face Ian, she answered in clipped sentences, "Ian, there are no grades. Lucinda McCrae left no grades. She left only ten stacks of ungraded papers marked ‘Please grade.’ If she had left grades, I would have found them. Now, if you want these report cards completed by next Friday, I suggest that you leave so I can get to work."

Knowing that arguing would be unprofessional, Ian quickly left the room. He couldn’t understand why Linnie was getting so worked up – first year teachers. Well, he’d go call Bill Hawkins or another board member and ask what Lucinda had told them concerning grades.

As soon as Ian left the room, Linnie collapsed into her desk chair. Her hands were shaking and her head was starting to throb. She rarely got angry, but when she did this was always the result. She knew very well that Miss McCrae had left no grades – she hadn’t returned a single paper to the students since school began. The kids themselves had told her this. And the letter Miss McCrae had left for her had told her the same – that she hadn’t graded any papers since school began because she hadn’t felt like it. She quickly looked at the clock on the wall. It was only 9:45. She’d only been at work for two hours. Sighing she bowed her head and whispered a quick prayer. She knew that was the only way she was going to get through the day.

*     *      *

Linnie jumped at the soft rap on her door. She’d closed it shortly after Ian had left because the music from Jessica’s room was disturbing her. She could not grade papers to the accompaniment of Def Leppard and Aerosmith. For her the quiet tones of Enya kept her from going insane as she tried to decipher her students writing.

"Come in?" Why were hands trembling slightly?

For some reason, her heart plunged when she saw Ian’s face. ‘Silly girl, why would Mart come again to see you? He was just doing a favor for his uncle.’

"Linnie, I want to apologize." Ian turned red. He was supposed to be the administrator for this school and also Linnie’s mentor. Great way to start by practically accusing her of lying. "I talked to a couple of the board members and they said that Lucinda had told them she’d "taken care" of the grades and they were waiting for you. They never checked it. I managed to get her current phone number from Mr. Hawkins…" Now he was turning even redder, this time from anger, not from embarrassment, "When I spoke with her she laughed at me and said of course she hadn’t worried about those papers. She’d been planning on retiring since school started. She’d been too busy planning her cruise to worry about grading papers!"

Linnie bit her lip to keep from laughing. The letter of instructions that Miss McCrae had left for her had alluded to the fact that this "sudden retirement" wasn’t all that sudden on her part. For a moment, she wondered if she should tell Ian what she knew. Why not? Then he’ll really understand why Lucinda McCrae, after a lifetime of teaching, had suddenly quit.

"Ian, I knew about the cruise…."

"Why didn’t you say something?" he snapped.

"Well, it wasn’t exactly my place to do so," Linnie retorted, "Anyway, she wasn’t sure if it was really going to happen."

"If she booked it and made the plans, how could she be unsure if it were going to happen or not?"

"She didn’t book it, Roger did."

"Roger?"
"Roger – her fiancé. They’re taking a wedding cruise." At Ian’s expression, Linnie couldn’t keep back her laughter any longer. She preferred laughter to anger, and this was welcome after their earlier discussion.

"What? Where? She’s in her sixties!" Ian knew his response was incoherent, but he couldn’t quite process all that Linnie was telling him.

"Age shouldn’t matter. Roger is in his seventies. In her letter, she said that they’d met in some online chat room for "Senior Singles." She wasn’t sure if they were going to take a cruise until Roger actually proposed. She had told him that she wouldn’t go on a trip with any man unless she was married to him. When he proposed, she turned in her resignation the next day."

Ian was still speechless a few moments later when Jessica came to the doorway. "Lunchtime guys." Glancing from Ian’s expression of total confusion and Linnie’s laughing face she asked curiously, "What’s so funny? Ian, you look as if you just woke up on another planet."

"Try the Twilight Zone," he sputtered. "Jessica, you will not believe what Lucinda has done."

"Try me," grabbing his arm she pulled him toward his classroom, "Tell me about it while we eat lunch, okay?" Winking over her shoulder at Linnie, she said, "Wanna’ join us, Linnie?"

"No thanks, I’m going to keep working here while I eat."

"Don’t work too hard, kid," then turning to Ian she asked, "So what insanity of Lucinda’s is still haunting us?"

Linnie shook her head bemusedly. At least now, she had a pretty good idea on what was keeping Jessica at Turkey Hollow School. It wasn’t the rural atmosphere or love of her job.

*     *      *

Leaning back in her chair, Linnie looked once again at the clock. Two-thirty. This had to be the longest day in the history of education. She’d finally given up on grading her students’ writing assignments and went on to their math papers. Math was usually easier to correct and read, and it was also something that was more interesting to her.

All day long, she’d been fighting back thoughts of the previous night and Mart Belden. She couldn’t afford to get distracted right now. "A few moments of day dreaming can’t be that bad," she murmured, and replayed some scenes from the night before in her mind. She saw Mart laughing as he helped a little freckle faced girl who had fallen head first into the apple bobbing tub. He’d carefully dried her face and hair and then given her a prize. There had been a few times when she’d seen evidence of the fifteen year old boy she’d met years prior in the hardened face of the man who had been helping her last night. She wasn’t a detective like his sister Trixie had been, but you didn’t need to be one to know that something terrible had happened to change the happy boy into this man who rarely smiled.

"Lina Anne Moore, you need to get to work and put Mart Belden out of you mind. Remember the motto?" Linnie reprimanded herself sharply.

She had to smile as she remembered the motto she and her roommate at the College of the Ozarks had composed when they had started the teacher education program together. ‘No men = no distractions = graduation.’ Her roommate had quickly forgotten the motto and had gotten married after their first year and never finished her degree. Linnie hadn’t made that mistake. It had been a goal for years to become a teacher, and she had accomplished it. There still wasn’t room in her life for a relationship, so why even entertain thoughts of one?

"Miss Moore, you are excused to go now," Jessica stuck her head in the door. "Slave Driver Ian says that since you worked through lunch you can leave an hour early."

Glancing at her desk, Linnie responded, "I should just stay here and keep working. That’s all I’ll do if I go home. That’s where Miss McCrae left the piles of papers that need to be graded. I only brought a couple over here."

Jessica hurried over to the desk and scooped the papers into a pile and replaced them in the TO BE GRADED tray. "Leave ‘em. If you’ve got more at home - worry about ‘em later. You need a break." Lowering her voice and bending closer to Linnie, she whispered, "And I think Ian feels pretty bad about not believing you earlier today. He’d never admit it, but he does. That’s another reason he said that you could leave early."

Before Linnie could answer, her stomach growled.

"Did you really eat lunch?" Jessica asked suspiciously.

"Kind of," Linnie responded. An apple was food.

"That’s it. Go home, eat, relax a bit, watch some TV, day dream about that cute man that helped you yesterday and forget about report cards for the rest of the evening. They’ll still be here tomorrow."

Taken aback slightly with Jessica’s reference to Mart, Linnie sat still for a moment. Again, her stomach growled.

"Okay, I guess I’ll leave. Are you going to be around here tomorrow?"

"Heck no, Saturday is my play day. I’ll be over on Sunday. How about you?"

"I’ll be back tomorrow. Sunday I have church – in Laurel."

Jessica shook her head, "Why do you go all the way to Laurel? If you insist on going to church why don’t you just go to the one in White Hole Springs? Going all the way to Laurel is a waste of time."

Linnie sighed. She’d tried to explain all of this to Jessica last weekend, to no avail. "My church is in Laurel. And it may seem a waste of time to you, but it doesn’t to me…and it’s my time anyway."

Shrugging, Jessica said, "Whatever. All churches are pretty much the same anyway – singing, praying and being told what to do and what not to do."

Deciding that answering this last comment would really get them nowhere except into a long debate that she really didn’t feel up to right then, Linnie stood up. "Well, I’ll see you Monday then. I think I will head home and get something to eat."

"Have a good weekend. If you’re in White Hole Springs tomorrow, stop by. I’ll probably just be hanging out. Maybe we can convince Ian to go into Laurel with us or something." Jessica rented a small one bedroom apartment above the general store. Ian also lived in town, in a small house that Bill Hawkins had built and then rented out.

Before Linnie had a chance to respond, Ian called for Jessica to come help him with something. As soon as she left the room, Linnie gathered up her grade book and a couple of teacher’s editions that would make grading the piles of papers at home easier. She was actually glad to be getting out of the school before three o’clock. Maybe now she’d have time to do something that she’d wanted to do since she had returned.

Fifteen minutes later Linnie was trudging up the trail that led from Turkey Hollow school to her childhood home. "I don’t remember this being such a long walk," Linnie muttered as she neared the clearing where her great grandparents had settled over a hundred years before. She couldn’t count the number of times that she had walked this path during her school days. Only during inclement weather had she ridden a mule or used the wagon. She could see that the trail had been improved slightly – many people in the mountains now had four wheel drive Jeeps and the old trails were being altered for that purpose. It made Linnie a little sad to see modernization intruding on the idyllic wilderness of her ancestors. For that reason, she had left her own Jeep – another hand-me-down from Lucinda McCrae – at the cottage.

Anyway, it was a beautiful autumn day and she knew that she had a couple more hours of daylight before night would fall. That gave her plenty of time to walk the mile and a half to the cabin where she, as had her mother and grandfather, had been born. Since she had returned she had wanted to check on the cabin, but she never was able to get out of school in time to have enough daylight for the excursion. Even though many of the other cabins and homes in the area now had generators to provide electricity, her family’s cabin wasn’t one of them. She hadn’t wanted to be alone out there in the dark. City living for the past several years had made her soft she chided herself. Until two days ago, she had thought that Andrew Belden’s lodge was empty. Knowing that someone was there was a reassuring feeling. Another feeling, one that was deeper down and centered on the lodge’s current occupant, also urged Linnie to visit her old home.

Taking a deep breath, Linnie realized how much she had missed the fresh mountain air. Point Lookout wasn’t a huge metropolis, like St. Louis, but it was still the city compared to White Hole Springs and Turkey Hollow. Just being back in the mountains where her roots really were helped Linnie to forget the stresses of her new job and all that it entailed.

A huge smile broke across her face as she caught her first glimpse of the cabin. "I wish Mom and Dad would move back here now," she said to a squirrel that ran in front of her. "It’s too weird being here without them."

She reached the fork in the trail – one path led directly to the cabin, the other went around the front of the lodge and then down to the cabin. Which way should she go? Did she want to go past the lodge? Did she want to see Mart? Did she want him to see her? No. She didn’t want it to look as if she were coming to see him. She hated this high school feeling that came over her whenever she thought of Mart Belden. ‘Remember the motto, remember the motto,’ she thought as she headed down the path that led straight to the cabin.

She wasn’t ready to see Mart. First she had to get her own feelings and thoughts about him straightened out. She had never chased a boy and wasn’t about to start now. And she had a feeling about him; something told her that he needed space.

As she knelt down to unearth the small key that was buried by the front step, Linnie heard music coming from the lodge. She vaguely recognized the song…but it sounded like the same few lines were being played over and over. She sat on the porch for a few moments, trying to place the tune. It reminded her of high school.

 

It must have been love, but it’s over now
It must have been good, but I lost it somehow
It must have been love, but it’s over now
It was all that I wanted, now I’m living without

 

She listened to the words three times before she remembered. It was a Roxette song. One of her roommates in college had played the song over and over after her boyfriend had dumped her. Linnie and their other roommate had renamed it, "The Break-up Song."

Shaking the dirt from the key and wiping it from her hands, Linnie opened the door to the cabin. Instinctively she knew what had doused the light and happiness from Mart Belden - love gone wrong. With a sigh, she closed the door, blocking out the music and shutting out adulthood. Now she was a child again. Sinking down on a cushioned rocking chair, she let the memories engulf her of happy times with her parents, and forgot all about her neighbor for the time being.

Part V

With a jerk, Linnie sat up straight in her old bed. The golden sunlight of late afternoon had been replaced by soft moonlight.

"I must have dozed off," Linnie murmured to herself looking around the room, now more full of shadows than the memories she’d been visiting with earlier.

Shivering slightly, she cautiously made her way to the front room. Once there she felt along the mantel of the big fireplace for the lantern and matches she had noticed earlier.

Moments later she was standing in a halo of light. A look at her watch confirmed her suspicions – it was nearly eight thirty. She had been sleeping for nearly three hours. Those late nights of grading papers and finalizing the Halloween plans had finally caught up with her.

Linnie had spent her first half hour in her childhood home checking everything out. The dishes were coated with dust and housed some dried spiders, yet they were still in the cupboard her father had made years ago. A few family pictures and some old books were all the remained on the shelves in the front room. The beds were each covered by an old quilt, to keep dust out.

Upon finding nothing amiss, Linnie had stretched out on her old bed and thought of all the dreams she had dreamt there. Some dreams had come true – her dad had returned, she had gone to the school of her dreams and she was teaching in her old school. She had drifted off thinking about how she had changed since she had moved away from this old cabin.

"Should I spend the night here?" Linnie questioned herself in the cold darkness as she came back to her present circumstances.

Another bout of shivering answered the question almost as soon as she asked it.

There were only two quilts in the old cabin and they wouldn’t be enough to keep her warm through the cold night. The days and afternoons may be warm, but fall nights got downright cold in the mountains. She didn’t dare try the fireplace – who knew what might be in the chimney after all the years of inactivity. And there was no food. The quick sandwich she had eaten as she walked to the cabin hadn’t been very filling.

Her options were: either walk home – quickly- with the light of the lantern to guide her, or knock on the lodge door and ask Mart is she could stay the night there.

"No, that would be too weird," she reprimanded herself.

Another little voice replied, "Not if Andy’s back."

Shrugging her shoulders, she decided to try the lodge first. Then remembering the music that she had heard coming from the lodge earlier, Linnie wasn’t too sure it now was the time to approach Mart Belden. She’d seen his sudden personality changes and mood swings last night and she wasn’t sure how he’d react to an uninvited guest.

Finally, she decided that she would peek in the kitchen window. "If he looks cheerful," she reasoned, "I’ll knock. If he doesn’t I’ll head home."

With that decision made, she quickly left the cabin – stopping only to grab a quilt and wrap it around her shoulders. The light flannel shirt she’d worn to work that morning wasn’t much help against the cool night air moving up from the lake.

After latching the door and pocketing the key for future visits, Linnie extinguished the lantern. She didn’t want to draw undue attention to herself from the inhabitant of the lodge.

Silently she approached the kitchen window. Actually, she didn’t need to be too quiet – music was still emanating from the lodge.

 

But that’s somebody else’s moon tonight
Those are somebody else’s stars
They’re no longer mine
‘Cause somewhere tonight
You’re in somebody else’s arms

 

Linnie peered carefully through the window and watched as Mart sifted through a pile of pictures. She couldn’t see what the pictures were of, nor could she see Mart’s expression. She could, however, tell from the slump of his shoulders and the droop of his head that sad did not begin to describe his condition.

She was unable to pull herself away from the scene in front of her. Some part of Linnie’s soul was crying for the man that she was watching. It was all she could do to keep herself from walking into the familiar kitchen and going over to this man, who had taken the place of a boy she had known, and wrapping him in a big hug and telling him that everything would be okay.

 

Remember the wishes we made in the night 
When dreams were supposed to come true 
Well I do ‘cause you put the stars in my eyes 
As you softly promised the moon

"You promised me, Diana, you promised me!"

Linnie jumped and almost lost her balance at the unexpected outburst from within.

The song moved on to the chorus once again.

 

But that’s somebody else’s moon tonight
Those are somebody else’s stars
They’re no longer mine
‘Cause somewhere tonight
You’re in somebody else’s arms

"How could you leave me, Di?"

The anguish in Mart’s voice brought tears to Linnie’s eyes. ‘I have no right to be here,’ she thought, but couldn’t make herself move from where she stood.

"You took everything when you left me! Everything! You were everything to me and now…" Mart’s tirade was choked back in a sob as he lowered his head to the table.

As the song finished, Linnie realized how uncomfortable she was, not only from standing in the cold, but also from what she had just witnessed.

They’re no longer mine
‘Cause somewhere tonight
You’re in somebody else’s arms

Realizing that she had to leave now, Linnie hurried away from the lodge.

Unfortunately in her haste, she forgot about the stone edged footpath that led from the kitchen to the shed. As she stumbled and failed to catch her balance, her lantern clattered amid the rocks and she fell heavily to the ground.

Gritting her teeth so she didn’t groan in pain, she reached for the lantern. With it in her grasp, she quickly got to her feet. Clutching the quilt tightly around her shoulders, she half-ran through the brush to the trail that led back to Turkey Hollow.

Once she reached the fork above the lodge, she paused long enough to light the lantern, no easy task when your hands are trembling with cold, agitation and pain. Luckily, the fall on the rocks had done little damage to the old tin lantern. Too bad, she couldn’t say the same for herself.

With the dim light to guide her, Linnie hobbled down the trail as quickly as she could on her throbbing ankle. She had to concentrate so much on not thinking about the pain that she didn’t even think back to the scene she had observed in the lodge kitchen.

*     *     *

Mart sprang up when he heard the clatter of metal on the rocks outside the back door, followed by the unmistakable thud of someone falling. Then figuring that it was only Andy, he sat back down.

For a moment, he stared at the piles of pictures on the table that not only represented his relationship with Di, but also a good part of his life. How could he just turn his back on it all? How could he pretend that it had never happened?

Wondering what could be taking his uncle so long, Mart went to the back door. Looking out, he saw no sign of his uncle – or anyone for that matter. As he turned to go back inside, he caught a glimpse of something to his right. It looked like something white floating above the ground. A slight chill worked its way down his spine as he suddenly recollected the tales of "haunts" he’d heard the first time he’d visited these mountains.

"I know of many ghosts around here," Mrs. Moore said. "There’s an old cabin not far from here on the trail to White Hole Springs. Linnie will point it out to you. The people who once lived there murdered a stranger who stopped for a night’s lodging. They stole the few dollars he had and buried his body out in the cow lot. He came back every night to haunt them. His ghost drove them out of these parts. No one will go near the cabin. If they do, they’d still hear him moaning."

"Didn’t anyone ever have nerve enough to stay there?" Mart asked. 
I would. I’d like to see a ghost."

A faint glow appeared at the fork of the trail and he saw a figure wrapped in white head toward Turkey Hollow. Whoever it was definitely wasn’t gliding now. In fact, it looked as if the person was limping. Who would be all the way out here at night?

Suddenly Mart thought of Linnie. Maybe she had come to visit her old home. A tiny voice whispered to him, ‘Maybe she came to see you.’ Mart ignored it and wondered if he should go offer to let her stay at the lodge. He was sure he’d quickly catch up to her since she appeared to be limping.

He turned back to the house to grab a jacket and saw the pictures on the table once again. Even though Di had tossed him and their relationship away, he still felt committed to her. She still held him under her spell.

Closing the door behind him, he swept the pictures into a pile and headed to his bedroom. For a moment he thought of throwing the pictures into the fire, but that wouldn’t erase Diana Lynch from his heart any more than the knowledge that she was married to Ben Riker could change the fact that he still felt engaged to the woman.

Tomorrow he’d check on Linnie. It was easier to avoid his demons in the daylight. At night, he just let them take over.

 

 

Part VI

"Liar! Liar!"

"Shut up witch!"

"I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!"

 

Linnie chuckled. There was nothing like The Princess Bride to cheer one up on a rainy day. Especially, she thought wryly, when one has twisted their ankle while running in the dark.

With a look at the pile of papers in her lap, Linnie tried to refocus her attention on grading. Her mind had other ideas, however, and she started thinking about what she had witnessed the night before. Her heart still ached for Mart Belden and what ever it was he was going through. She had caught the name Diana in some of his cries. He must have continued to date Diana Lynch, his girlfriend from high school. Something had obviously gone wrong with their relationship.

Shifting her sore ankle cautiously, Linnie continued to think about Mart and why he was in the Ozarks. "Most likely he came here to get over Di and heal a broken heart." She muttered, "No wonder he’s so moody and seems so empty."

Unconsciously she began to daydream about Mart and herself. She’d never had much romance in her life, never had a boyfriend, but she had her imagination. And after seeing what some of her friends and roommates had gone through in the name of love had made her think that she had the better deal – most of the time.

 

"To the pain…"

 

Linnie jerked back to reality as Westly described the punishment he had planned for Prince Humperdinck. She shook her head to clear her mind with such force that her thick braid thumped her back soundly. She had to quit daydreaming about Mart.

"This is not a way to shrink these stacks," she told herself firmly, glaring at the quick writes in her lap. She had hoped that when she had her own class she would enjoy grading student writing more than she had in student teaching. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. She much preferred grading math or science papers. What some kids tried to pass of as cursive looked more like hieroglyphics.

As the movie came to its sweet ending, Linnie found herself staring at the drizzly outdoors. She knew that she would get more work done in her classroom, but between the weather and her swollen ankle, she had opted to stay home. By resting today, she hoped her ankle would be healed enough to make the trip to Laurel the next morning for church.

With another heartfelt sigh, she turned back to her student’s responses to The Hundred Dresses. Many of them had felt a kinship with poor Wanda Petronski when they had discussed the book, now if she could just decipher their writing.

*     *     *

Mart squinted in the bright light of the kitchen as he stumbled to the sink. He’d never had a hangover from alcohol, but if it felt anything like the morning after feelings from crying and nightmares, he’d continue to stay away from alcoholic beverages.

"Did you deliver the pumpkins without any problems?"

Mart jumped backwards at the comment. Colliding with a chair, he fell to the floor.

Angrily he untangled his legs from the chair legs and pulled himself upright. "Where did you come from?" he growled at his uncle.

Andy Belden chose to ignore the ire in his nephew’s voice, "If you had checked the answering machine yesterday, you would’ve had some warning."

Mart opened his mouth to tell his uncle that there had been no such message, then closed it and swallowed hard to hold back his sarcastic retort. He’d wandered around in the hills most of yesterday and never bothered to check the answering machine upon his return. In the months that he’d been at the lodge, there had never once been a message on the machine.

"Coffee?" Andy asked as Mart finally sat down in the chair that had given him problems a few moments before.

Grimacing, Mart declined. He couldn’t fathom why people drank that stuff. He watched as his uncle refilled his own mug and sat back down at the table.

Looking directly at his nephew, Andy sighed. Mart looked awful – Andy was sure he didn’t look much better himself. He wondered, and not for the first time, why he had asked Mart to come live with him at the lodge. He wasn’t helping his nephew get over his broken relationship at all. Not knowing what else to say, he reiterated his first question, "Did you deliver the pumpkins?’

"Yeah," Mart grunted, "You didn’t mention that judging the finished product was part of the deal."

Andy slapped his hand to his forehead, "I’m sorry Mart, I’d forgotten that Lucinda had me judge – it’s been several years since I’ve been here in the fall. Bill usually delivered the pumpkins. Lucinda didn’t give you a hard time, did she? She can be a little blunt."

Mart looked at the older man blankly, "Lucinda?"

"Lucinda McCrae, the head teacher and principal at Turkey Hollow School."

Mart shook his head negatively; "Some guy’s the principal. And the person that was in charge was Linnie Moore. She mentioned a ‘Miss McCrae’, but I never saw her."

"Linnie Moore? Are the Moores back?" Andy arose suddenly from the table and crossed the kitchen to the window Linnie had peered in the night before. "It doesn’t look like anyone is in the cabin."

"She doesn’t live there – she lives at some house closer to the school. Her parents aren’t back."

"Oh," Andy replied and returned to his seat and his coffee mug. "What’s Linnie doing back here?"

"Teaching," Mart said with a touch of sarcasm.

"That’s what she always wanted to do," Andy said absently as he sipped his coffee. "I knew she’d accomplish anything she started – she’s just like her mother and her father. Too bad they didn’t come back with her."

Not knowing what else to say to his uncle, Mart got up and rummaged in the cupboards for something to eat. His stomach said it was breakfast time even though the clock said it was lunch time. Shortly he returned to the table with a mixing bowl full of cold cereal.

Andy raised an eyebrow over his nephew’s bowl, but made no comment.

Mart munched on the corn flakes for awhile, growing more and more uncomfortable with the silence that hung in the room. It seemed to be quieter with Andy home than it did when he was there alone. Finally he asked, "Andy where did you go this time?"

"Business trip," Andy muttered, setting his mug firmly down on the table, as if to punctuate his comment.

Mart wondered what kind of business his uncle did and where these trips took him, but before he could ask another question, Andy stood up from the table. "I’m going into town for awhile. I’m taking the mules."

"Fine," Mart mumbled to his uncle’s back as he left the room.

A few moments later, Andy returned carrying his briefcase and wearing a raincoat. Half way out the door he turned back and said, "I should be back by tomorrow. See you then."

Now finished with his cereal, Mart watched his uncle leave from the window. He checked a smile as he saw his uncle having difficulties with the mules. Tweedledee and Tweedledum did not like the rain.

*     *     *

Linnie jumped. Who could be knocking on her door on a rainy Saturday afternoon? She arose from the couch, carefully putting weight on her ankle to see how quickly she could move. The pain wasn’t too bad as she shuffled to the door to admit her visitor. It was probably Ian checking on her grades. He’d called her earlier that morning to see why she wasn’t at her classroom. She’d informed him that she was working at home and that the grades were coming along just fine. Whatever remorse he had felt yesterday after getting angry with her had apparently vanished.

So, it was a pleasant surprise when she opened the door and saw rain dripping from Mart Belden’s baseball cap instead of Ian under an umbrella.

They stared at each other for a moment, Mart trying to think of something to say as an excuse for coming by and Linnie in shock at him actually being at her door. Finally, Mart spoke, "Well, it’s raining and I thought that well, maybe I could take the raincheck on the hot chocolate today?"

Linnie smiled and then began to laugh, "Of course! What could be a better day to redeem a raincheck than a rainy day? Come on in." She stepped back to let him into the entry way and motioned to the coat rack. "Go ahead and leave your hat and jacket there. You can leave your boots by the door too." Hobbling into the living room, she added, "If it were my house I wouldn’t care if you tracked mud in, but Miss McCrae is quite picky about things."

Obediently Mart removed what he was told to remove and then followed her into the living room. Linnie was clearing piles of papers from the couch and the surrounding floor.

"Have a seat," she said solicitously as she placed the last pile on the end table. "Please excuse the mess. Like I told you the other night, I’ve only been here a short time and grades are due soon. The teacher who left didn’t have time to grade all of the kids’ work so I’m trying to catch up on it."

"No problem, I remember what it’s like," Mart said, sitting down on the comfortable couch.

"You remember what it’s like?" Linnie looked at him in surprise; "You’re a teacher?"

"Kind of," Mart looked at her surprised face and laughed, "Don’t I look like a teacher?" Before Linnie could answer he explained, "I finished my student teaching last spring, right before graduation. I’m, uh, taking some time off before I actually start teaching."

"Wow, I thought you were going to study agriculture or something like that and work on Jim’s school?"

Mart laughed again, "Well, I was, but my science grades weren’t good enough to get me into an Ag department that I liked…so I switched my major to English and got a teaching credential. As for Jim’s school, well he’s not sure what he’s going to do with that now. He’s in grad school currently working on a master’s in educational administration and educational psychology."

Linnie had gone into the small kitchen while Mart was talking. A breakfast bar was all that separated the two rooms, so she could still hear him easily. She called back to him as she put milk on to boil, "That’s a huge load to carry! But I’m sure he can handle it. Is Brian in medical school now?"

"Um, no, he’s actually studying to become a counselor for addiction rehabilitation." Mart wasn’t sure how much to dump on Linnie right now, and the story of his older brother’s drug addiction probably was too much.

"And Trixie and Honey," she asked from the doorway, "Are they still planning on opening a detective agency?"

"No again. Trixie is double majoring in investigative journalism and Spanish. Honey is taking pre-vet courses."

That was a surprise, "Honey, a veterinarian?"

"Yeah, she sure has come a long way in the ten years since Trixie met her…she doesn’t get faint at the sight of blood any longer. She ended up helping Regan, her father’s groom, a lot in the stables after Jim left for college. Suddenly it became what she wanted to do with her life." Mart’s happy feelings were quickly leaving him, he was getting to close to thoughts of Diana as he talked about his friends, and that couldn’t happen. Standing up quickly he asked, "So, what can I do to help you with that hot chocolate?"

Somehow sensing that Mart didn’t want to answer anymore questions, Linnie led the way to the stove, "Well, we’ll just add the chocolate as soon as the milk is ready. You can grab a couple of mugs from the cupboard above the sink if you like."

A few moments later the mugs were filled to the brim with delicious smelling chocolate. "Oh man, I haven’t had real hot chocolate in ages," Mart sighed as he inhaled the aroma emanating from their cups.

"Real hot chocolate?" Linnie asked curiously.

"As compared to instant stuff that comes in little packages and you make with water heated in a microwave."

"Oh, I have that in my classroom for drinking at recess. The school only has coffee – which I don’t drink," Linnie answered, "If you prefer it, I’ll make sure to have some here next time." She gulped, ‘Next time? He’s going to think I’m after him, just assuming he’ll be coming over again.’

Mart appeared to not notice her comment, shook his head, "No way, this is great. You can just make this again." Then trying to cover his own confusion at implying that he’d be coming over again asked, "Do you happen to have any marshmallows?"

"Of course! What is hot chocolate without marshmallows – they’re in the cupboard by the refrigerator." While Mart added generous handfuls of marshmallows to their mugs, Linnie rummaged around in her freezer.

"We can eat these too, they thaw quickly," she held out a ziplock bag of cookies.

"Chocolate chip cookies?" Mart smiled the smile she remembered from years ago. "I haven’t had chocolate chip cookies since I moved down here. You’re great, Linnie!"

To hide her embarrassment at his praise, Linnie headed into the living room, "Just bring the mugs in here. As long as we don’t spill, it’ll be okay."

"Are you limping?" Mart asked as he watched Linnie cross the room.

"Um, yeah, a little bit," she frowned, she didn’t want to tell him what she had been doing when she fell, but she knew that would be his next question. She couldn’t bring herself to tell him a lie, and yet she didn’t want to tell him the truth either. So, she settled with, "I twisted it while out walking last night."

"Didn’t you have a flashlight?" Mart asked as he set the steaming mugs on the TV tray Linnie had placed in front of the couch.

"No, I hadn’t planned on being out in the dark." Before she could stop herself, Linnie told him about checking her old home and falling asleep and waking when it was quite dark. Lamely she finished, "I, uh, forgot about some rocks and slipped on them. It’s been so long since I’ve walked around there in the dark."

"You must have been the haunt?" Mart mused.

"Excuse me?"

"I heard noises outside last night and thought it was Andy. When I looked outside, I saw something white drifting toward the trail. When it reached the path it began to glow and I realized it was a person with some kind of light. If I’d known it was you I’d have helped you." He felt ashamed. Last night he had thought that it was Linnie, and he had wanted to help her, but the thoughts of Diana had held him back. He really needed to exorcise her from his mind and heart.

"That was probably me. I had a lantern that I lit when I was out on the trail. I didn’t want to disturb…" her voice tapered off, she didn’t want him to think that she had been eavesdropping on him.

"You should’ve come to the lodge. I could’ve taken you back or you could’ve stayed at the lodge…" now it was his voice that dwindled off. Maybe she had come to the lodge and had heard or seen him last night. His face began to grow dark and return to the harsh expression that Linnie had, up until now, been able to help keep away.

Linnie saw the change coming over him. She thought hard and fast on what she should say to bring back the cheerful person that had just been with her. A quick prayer left her mind, ‘Please, help me know what to say to him. Help me tell him something that will make him feel safe with me and know that I care. Please, just help me help him.’

Taking a deep breath, she began to speak quietly, "I did go over to the lodge to see if you or Andy were home and if I could borrow a flashlight or a coat or something. I knew someone had been home earlier, because when I had arrived in the afternoon I had heard music coming from the lodge. I didn’t want to disturb you." She glanced at Mart and saw that his eyes were closed, he was clenching and unclenching his hands, and gritting his teeth. "I was just going to peek in the kitchen window and make my decision. But when I looked in and saw you sitting at the table, I couldn’t pull myself away." She hurried to continue so he wouldn’t get the wrong idea, "I felt so horrible for you. I wanted to be able to help you somehow and I didn’t want to leave you alone. But I knew you would be angry if you saw me there and I didn’t want that either. Finally, I forced myself to leave and, well, that’s when I tripped over those stupid rocks along the path. Anyway, that’s how I twisted my ankle."

They sat in silence for a few moments. Then Mart began to speak. "I should probably explain to you what you were seeing…but I…"

Linnie broke in quickly, "Don’t. You don’t have to tell me right now. Someday, when you want to and you are ready to talk to someone, remember that I’m here and will gladly listen to you – if you want me to."

A small smile came to Mart’s face, slowly beginning to erase the harsh lines of anger and sadness that appeared to be permanently etched there. Bit by bit his hands began to relax also, "Thank you Linnie. I’ll remember that." He paused for a few seconds. "When I’m ready, I’ll tell you all about it. But it still hurts too much now to talk. But it helps just knowing that I’m not alone. That’s what I hate the most."

"You’re never alone, Mart," Linnie sighed, "I know the feeling – in a different way. But I’ve learned that I’m never truly alone and that has made the difference to me time and time again."

For a few moments, the two sat quietly on the couch; each lost in their own thoughts. After a time, Mart said abruptly, "This is silly!"

"What?’

"Just sitting here. The chocolate is getting cold."

Linnie wasn’t sure what that had to do with anything, but she nodded in agreement, as Mart continued,

"I guess I still will need a rain check on the hot chocolate."

 

AUTHOR’S NOTES:

All characters used without permission…

"Somebody Else’s Moon" is performed by Collin Raye on the In This Life album –used w/o permission (it’s a beautiful waltz)

The quote about "haunts" was borrowed from page 44 of Trixie Belden and the Mystery at Bob-White Cave – also used w/o permission

The quotes from the movie The Princess Bride were also borrowed and used w/o permission

The book The Hundred Dresses is by Eleanor Estes 

Part VIII

Linnie smiled happily to herself as she maneuvered Lucinda McCrae’s Jeep along the rocky road towards her tiny house. After the last few days she had needed a spiritual refueling. Though arduous and time consuming, the drive to Laurel to attend Church had been well worth the effort.

To be back among her childhood neighbors was nice, but to be amid those who had the same perspective on life as she was wonderful. It helped her to forget the stress and craziness of the week past.

"Well, not all the craziness," she thought to herself. There was still Mart Belden. No matter what she did, she couldn’t put him out of her mind.

From her shock at seeing him in the school gym on Wednesday to his surprise visit yesterday -- he hadn’t been far from her thoughts.

It had been pleasant yesterday afternoon as they had talked and drank "cold" chocolate. She had been surprised to learn that he, too, was a teacher. When he’d offered to read over her students’ writing, she had been thrilled. They had spent a companionable couple of hours grading. The dark shadow had returned only once more to Mart’s countenance when he’d suddenly exclaimed, "I could never have done this with Diana!"

Quickly Linnie had changed the subject. For some reason, she had thought of the cave -- Bob-White Cave. She had never been back since the summer of the Bob-Whites' visit. Once she had left for Point Lookout her visits home had been brief and busy. However, the years had not dimmed the memories of the beautiful cave.

The topic shift had worked and Mart had looked at her incredulously. "Are you a mind reader? I came over here to ask you if you wanted to check out the cave with me," he’d responded.

By the time he had left that evening all of her grading was finished and Mart had given her an idea for a new writing activity. He had also gotten her to agree to meet him at the lodge around 2:30 the next afternoon for the excursion to the cave. He'd been correct -- she did need to have some fun. Lesson planning could wait until Sunday evening.

As she pulled into the shed behind the cottage, she realized how excited she was to go see the cave. Or was the excitement caused by the promise of spending an afternoon with Mart Belden? She pushed that thought away and hurried inside.

Moments later she had changed from her dress to jeans and a sweatshirt and was on her way back out the door. She didn’t bother to stop for lunch. Mart had said that they would grab something to eat at the lodge before heading across the lake. She hoped it would be more than a snack -- she hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before, as was usual on the first Sunday of the month, and she was starving.

*     *      *

"No boat? What do you mean there’s no boat?" Mart raged at his uncle. He knew that he was being irrational and shouldn’t get so upset over such a trivial matter, but lately the trivial matters were what sent him over the edge.

Andy eyed him coolly from his seat by the fireplace. "What I mean is – there is no boat. I sold it years ago. There might be an old raft or something down there, but I don’t know how seaworthy it would be."

"How can you call this a fishing lodge when you don’t even have a boat?" Mart responded disgustedly.

Ignoring his last remark, Andy asked his nephew, "What’s this sudden need for a boat? Going to sail away from your troubles?"

"Actually we, er, that is, I, wanted to go over and see Bob-White Cave this afternoon."

Andy hadn’t missed the ‘we’ Mart had started with.

"We? Who’s going with you?" Then Andy’s face brightened, "Is Linnie going over with you?"

Not sure why he suddenly felt embarrassed and about thirteen years old, Mart nodded, "Yeah, yesterday we talked about the cave and she mentioned that she had never been back over there since that summer. Also, she’s stressed about doing report cards and stuff, so I thought this would be a nice break…" Mart’s voice trailed off as he asked himself why he felt funny about doing something with Linnie? It wasn’t like it was a date.

Andy bit his tongue. He’d been about to ask Mart if this was a date, but decided that he didn’t want to rile him up again -- Linnie didn’t need to see that. Instead he asked, "When should she be here?"

"When she gets back from church in Laurel," Mart replied, "in about…" he muttered something intelligible as he glanced at the clock on the mantle. Running up the stairs, pulling his shirt over his head on the way to the shower he tossed back "Ten minutes!"

Andy now allowed himself to smile at his nephew’s retreating back. He realized that Mart’s frustration about the lack of a boat was different from his usual anger at the world. Usually he blamed the anger on the belief that because his future hadn’t turned out as he’d had it planned for the last decade, nothing else would ever be right for him again. This excursion also explained the pot of stew that had been simmering on the stove when Andy had arrived back from town at seven that morning.

As Andy reached for the phone he hummed an old Garth Brooks song. While waiting for the phone to be picked up on the other end, he muttered, "Wish I could learn to live again as easily as he’ll be able to."

Part IX

"I’m not sure if we’ll find anything to row across the lake in or not," Mart explained to Linnie with a scowl. "Andy sold his boat awhile back."

"Don’t worry about it, Mart," Linnie replied quickly, "we can always go another day." To steer the conversation to a more positive topic, she said, "That stew was delicious. I can’t believe that you made it."

"What?" He asked, feigning hurt.

"Oh, I didn’t mean it like that…it’s just that before, well, you were more inclined to eat than to cook."

Laughing, Mart, paused along the trail, "You are so right! However, when I got to college I learned rather quickly that if I wanted to eat I had to learn how to cook ‘cause fast food wipes out the grocery budget faster than you can eat it!"

Linnie laughed and nodded in agreement, "The cold hard realities of 'real life' are so depressing."

Moments later they arrived at the lodge’s small dock – empty as Andy had said. However, they weren’t the only ones approaching the dock. Arriving by water was Young Bill Hawkins. He secured a small rowboat to the dock and hopped ashore.

"Afternoon Miss Moore, Mr. Belden. Here’s a boat that you can use."

Mart looked quizzically at the boy and asked, "How on earth did you know that we needed a boat?"

"Mr. Andy called Pa a time ago and asked if you could borrow one of our boats for the afternoon. We don’t use them much on Sunday afternoons, so it was no problem at all to bring one on over."

"Thank you Young Bill and tell your pa thanks," Linnie said quickly.

"Sure thing. See you tomorrow at school, Miss Moore."

Watching the boy head up the hillside, Mart shook his head. "That Andy. I should’ve guessed by his almost cheerful grin that he was up to something!"

Carefully he helped Linnie into the boat and then untied it. Picking up the oars, he began to row toward the other side of the lake. For a time, they rowed along in silence. Then unconsciously Linnie began to hum.

"What song is that?" Mart asked curiously after a few minutes.

Startled, Linnie asked, "What song?"

"Um, the one that you were humming."

"I was humming? I’m sorry." Linnie blushed. She had quickly gotten used to her solitary life since returning to the Ozarks. She often hummed the same song because it made her feel not so alone.

"I liked the tune," Mart said softly, "are there words?"

"Yeah, there are words," she murmured, "it's just a song from church that reminds me that no matter what, I’m not alone here by myself."

"Sing it, please," he asked, remembering her sweet singing voice from years before.

After a brief hesitation, she began,

 

"Here’s a little song
To help you get along.
It will see you through
When you’re feeling blue…"

 

As she sang, Mart stopped rowing and focused on the words of the song. It seemed to him that he didn’t breathe until the last line of the song hung over them,

 

"You’re not alone."

 

The last note drifted off in to the cold blue November sky and Mart’s focus shifted from the song to the singer. Linnie quickly grew uncomfortable under his gaze. Finally he spoke,

"Thank you. Thank you for that song."

"What do you mean?" That hadn’t been the response that she had expected.

Instead of answering, Mart began to row again. He didn’t speak until they beached the boat and they both stood on the shore in front of the cave entrance.

"I’m not sure how to explain what that song just did to me," Mart began, "but it, it…" For one of the few times in his life Mart Johnson Belden was at a loss for words.

"Comfort?" Linnie whispered.

"Yes, it gives me some comfort. How did you know?"

With a sigh, Linnie plopped down on a large boulder. She squinted up at Mart in the late afternoon sunlight, trying to decided if she should tell him or not. Should she tell him about the loneliness that had once consumed her? And how, for the longest time, she had felt so different and out of place when she had left the protection of the mountains that she had wanted to bury herself away from everything?

Shrugging she said, "We all have our times of feeling alone and disconnected from the human race. During one such time for myself, I heard this song and I felt comforted and I felt some hope once more. It started a huge period of change in my life."

"You actually felt that way?" Mart looked at her unbelievingly.

A short laugh escaped her lips. Quickly she said, "I am human." Putting an end to further discussion, she rose quickly from her stone seat. "Well, we’re here and it’s not going to stay light forever. Let’s go check out the cave."

Mart nodded. One lesson he had learned in recent years was to not push the conversation when the other participant obviously didn’t want to continue it. He had Trixie to thank for that. He went back to the boat and grabbed an old knapsack. Linnie looked at him questioningly.

"Carbide lamps," he answered. "I found them along with all of the rest of the spelunking equipment we got years ago down in lodge’s cellar."

Handing one lamp to Linnie, he plopped the other on to his own head. He then produced a strong flashlight. "Ready?"

"Yep."

The entrance was still partially hidden behind a curtain of vines, though at this time of year the vines were mostly leafless and didn’t obscure much.

It took just a few short minutes to prepare the carbide lamps and then Mart led the way into the cave. The piles of rocks and sticks that he remembered climbing over were no longer blocking the entryway. Maybe life, too, was going to lose some of its obstacles.

 

Part X

The memory of Linnie’s smile and laughter walked up the stairs with Mart that evening. Not only had he had an enjoyable day, he and Andy had also watched a movie. For once neither had irritated the other. It was the most time they had spent in each other’s presence since Mart had moved to the lodge.

Andy had gone to bed shortly after dinner, but Mart had stayed up watching TV.

When he walked through his bedroom door and caught sight of the picture of Diana that he still kept by his bed, it was as if he’d been kicked in the stomach. The bits of Linnie’s presence that had kept happiness in his heart throughout the evening vanished. The horrible darkness that he had thought he was winning out over, rushed back in waves.

Mart knew what he needed to do. He knew, without a doubt, the source of his depression and unhappiness.

He forced himself to walk over to the window and open it completely. Then he reached for the frame on the bedside table.

With tears streaming down his face, he looked at the face that had once represented everything to him and now was the definition of betrayal.

"Diana, you said that Ben was what made you happy -- and that you hoped that I would be happy some day, too. Well, some day will never come if I keep living with you in my heart."

Before he could convince himself not to, Mart hurled the frame out the window. It soared like a Frisbee and came crashing down on the rocky hillside.

Quickly he closed the window and pulled down the blinds. In the same fog, he changed in to his pajamas and crawled into bed. Wrapping the quilts around himself tightly, he tried to stop the shaking and the tears that refused to quit.

With the throwing of Di’s picture he felt as if he’d cut all ties – physical and emotional – with her…and with his past. The two were so intertwined. What did he have left? He felt so alone.

Slowly the tears and the shaking ceased. His breathing began to even out and slow as he began to relax. His last conscious thought before sleep came was the chorus of Linnie’s song.

 

"You’re not alone."

 

The End