Homeless
Dan pulled the collar of his black
leather jacket more closely around his neck to block the bitter December wind.
Unfortunately, it didn’t help much. What he wouldn’t give a warm room to stay
in - just for the night. Unbidden his thoughts turned to the tiny, yet homey,
apartment he had shared with his mother until five months ago.
"Mangan, what ya’ up to?"
Dan jerked around to face Luke.
"Nothin’," he muttered, hoping that his tears could be attributed to
the wind and cold.
Fortunately, the older boy’s
thoughts were not on his protégé’s appearance, but on his willingness to do a
job. "Got something for you to do, Danny Boy. Something real Christmassy."
***
Dan knew from the tone of Luke’s
voice that this would not be something good. Sometimes he wondered why on earth
he had gotten mixed up with Luke and the Cowhands. His mother would shoot him
if she knew the way he had been living for the last few months. She had raised
him so much better. That’s what made gang life even worse, knowing that his
mother would be so disappointed in him.
They had never lived in a nice part
of New York City, but she had always managed to keep him from straying too far.
He had known Luke for years, but not until his mother’s death had he learned
that Luke was involved in a gang. Of course, he had suspected it for a while,
but had always hoped that his suspicions were unfounded.
He could still remember the day when
Luke had first approached him. It had been a stifling hot August day. He had
just finished packing all his earthly possessions and moved them into a
neighbor’s spare room. Little old Mrs. Michaels had promised to keep an eye on
his things until he was settled with his uncle. At not quite fifteen, he
couldn’t afford to pay the rent on his old apartment. Heck, at not quite
fifteen he couldn’t afford much. So armed with a change of clothing, two old
pictures and a stranger’s name, he set off to find a home. One of the pictures
was of his parents and himself when he was just a few of years old. He couldn’t
remember his father very well. A drunk driver had run him down one afternoon as
he walked home from work. His mother had been both mother and father to him,
until she too had passed on. The other picture was a faded old picture of his
mother, while in her teens, and a young boy - her brother.
She had often told him about her
little brother Billy. Unfortunately, they had lost touch over the years. He had
been about ten years younger than she, and when she left the orphanage to get
married, they hadn’t allowed her to take Billy. Then, with so many kids in the
system, young Billy had slipped through the cracks. Dan’s parents had tried to
get custody of Billy a year later, once they had a home and employment. They'd been
told that he had been sent to another orphanage. For a time they had tried to
track him down, only to find that he had run away from his last placement. As
far as Dan knew, Bill Regan was his only living relative. His mother had urged
him to try to find the man so that he wouldn’t be alone in the world. She
hadn’t wanted her son to end up in foster care or an orphanage as they had been
- nor had she wanted him mixed up in a gang.
***
That last thought brought Dan back
to where he was. Luke was just finishing giving him directions of some kind.
"Did you get all that, Mangan?"
"Um, it’s kinda’ hard to hear
you with this wind and all the traffic, could you run it by me again?" Dan
hoped his excuse wouldn’t rile up his friend.
Rolling his eyes, Luke pulled Dan by
the arm until a decrepit building sheltered them a bit. "Listen close this
time, okay. We’re going to go Christmas shopping. Only we won’t need money this
year."
Luke grinned as he watched Dan sort
this out in his mind. He knew the kid would figure it out - he was a smart one.
He’d wanted Mangan in the gang for years. When he’d heard that the kid was on
his own, he could hardly wait to get to him. True, it’d been sad about his
mother. She’d been a nice lady. If his own mom had been a little more like her,
he might not be running the Cowhands now.
Brushing the thought aside, Luke
continued, "That little pawnshop a couple blocks over has some mighty nice
things in the windows - and throughout the store. But it’s looking kinda’
cluttered, so I think we should help them out."
Dan knew exactly what Luke meant.
He’d helped "unclutter" places before. Oh well, it wasn’t as if he
had anywhere special to go tonight. He caught Luke’s last sentence.
"The plan is to
"visit" right around six tonight."
"What! The pawnshop doesn’t
even close until nine - why so early?" Dan spluttered.
"It’s time for you to try
something a little riskier, my friend," Luke replied grinning. He’d babied
Dan a lot longer than he’d allowed for any other new member. He hadn’t wanted
to overwhelm him. Oh, he knew that Dan would never rat on them, but he didn’t
want to tempt fate.
Dan swallowed hard. He’d known that
the day would come when they’d make him take part in a hold up, but right
before Christmas! This was stupid and risky, he knew, but he also didn’t want
to take to the lonely streets again.
‘I’m sorry, Mom, please forgive
me,’ his heart
pleaded as his mouth said, "Okay, what do I have to do."
***
Dan dodged down an alley, breathing
hard. He thought he had lost the cop who had been following him, but he wasn’t
sure. He hated the cowboy boots that were part of the gang dress code. They
were such a pain in the behind when you had to run. He’d slipped on a patch of
ice, and almost been overtaken, but managed to blend into the crowd quickly
after rising.
He hoped that Luke and the others
had gotten away, too. When the cops had burst out of the back room of the
pawnshop, Dan had seen the blood drain from Luke’s face and all the bravado was
gone. He looked like the scared kid he really was. Dan had been next to him,
and closest to the door. Luke had thrust a bag into his arms, hissed,
"Run!", and shoved him through the door. Obediently, Dan had begun to
run. He had no idea where he was heading. Then a cop had spotted him. Dan
didn’t know if the officer knew what he had done, or if he just looked guilty,
but he didn’t want to hang around and find out.
After leaning against the cold
concrete building wall for several minutes, Dan decided to venture out into the
street again, and hope the police officer was gone. Cautiously, he peered
around the corner and saw only chilled, busy New Yorkers hustling by on their
way home from work. With a sigh of relief, he came out, joined them, and headed
in the direction of the main flow of pedestrian traffic.
Looking at the nearest street sign,
Dan realized that he was back near his old neighborhood. The thought made him
sad and strangely embarrassed. He didn’t want his old neighbors to see him
wearing the black jacket of the Cowhands. He didn’t want to reflect badly on
their memory of his mother. ‘If you didn’t want to make your mom’s
memory look bad, stupid, you’d never have put on the jacket,’ a voice
whispered in his head. He mumbled back to himself, "If I’d never put on
this jacket, I’d be starving or worse by now."
He wandered through the streets a
bit more, remembering back to the late summer days when his life had changed so
drastically. On the day that he had left his home, Luke had come up to him.
He’d muttered something about being sorry to hear that his mom had died, and
all the usual things kids say to each other at awkward moments. Dan had mumbled
some sort of response. Then Luke had invited him to hang out with some of his
friends for the afternoon. Dan agreed, knowing that the neighbors all thought
he was going to live with his uncle - he’d stretched the truth a bit when
asked. He figured that eventually he’d find the guy. By that night, he knew
that Luke’s "friends" were actually his gang. Dan had promised his
mom that he’d never get involved in a gang. The pain of losing her was still so
fresh, that he had declined the offer to stay with them and had walked through
the streets.
That’s what he had done for the rest
of August and most of September - walked the streets of New York City. He’d
never been so alone before. At first, it was kind of neat - sleeping in parks
and getting his own food whenever he felt like eating. However, after a week or
so, he was out of money. Occasionally, he would earn some change by helping
someone carry their groceries, or something like that, but it wasn’t much. He
managed to avoid both the police and Luke’s gang as he moved from neighborhood
to neighborhood.
Then the cold spell had hit in late
September. He had no coat, no blankets, nothing to keep him warm. The little
food that he was able to get each day wasn’t enough to keep him going through
the cold fall and winter. He’d had no luck searching for his uncle. There were
Regans listed in the phone books, but none of them knew of a Bill Regan who that
had grown up in orphanages and would now be around twenty-two years old. None
of them had known Alison Regan who had married Tim Mangan either. Dan didn’t
know where else to turn, so he began to try to find Luke.
When he wanted to find Luke, of
course he couldn’t. In the end, it had been Luke who had stumbled upon him.
Luke almost tripped over his shivering body on the doorstep of an
out-of-business deli during a late night rainstorm. He had offered to Dan
something to eat, and he had eagerly accepted the offer. Then, when Luke had
offered him a place to stay, Dan had shoved the memory of his mother to the
back of his mind and followed him. He had tried being homeless, and now it was
time for a home. Sadly, he came to realize that a gang hideout wasn’t exactly a
home. He came to learn that the Cowhands didn’t have a real place to stay. They
moved from one condemned building to the next, always trying to stay one-step
ahead of the police and rival gangs. The shaky walls and cracked roofs kept
some of the elements out, but they were never warm. Luke had acquired a black
leather jacket and cowboy boots for Dan somehow, so he was at least better
equipped for the winter, but he still couldn’t remember the last time he had
truly felt warm.
***
The sound of rushing footsteps
brought Dan back to the present quickly. He couldn’t see anyone behind him in
the dark, but decided that he needed to get off the streets. He noticed a lit
building up ahead. He thought he could hear music coming from there as well. He
picked up his pace so that he could escape the footsteps. As he entered the
building he caught sight of the words "Visitor’s Welcome" on the
outside wall.
Oh, the warmth! He hadn’t felt this
much warm air in ages. He noticed that he was in some kind of lobby. A poster
on an easel announced that the musical The Forgotten Carols would
be performed on December 23. With a shock, Dan realized that today was the 23rd of
December. Not only was it two days before Christmas, but it was also his
fifteenth birthday.
Shaking that thought from his mind,
he followed the sounds of music and laughter down a hallway. Along the hall
were many beautiful paintings. He noted that they were all of a religious
nature. ‘I must be in some kind of a church,’ he thought ‘but
I didn’t see any cross out front. Are there churches without crosses?’ The
inane thought remained in his mind as he reached an open double door. Inside
were rows of chairs set up facing the stage. On the stage were an old man and a
woman dressed in a nurses uniform. Seeing people’s attention focused on the
stage, Dan leaned against the doorjamb and let himself relax for a minute. To
his left he saw a table covered with punch bowls and plates upon plates of
Christmas cookie. He stomach rumbled. He’d forgotten how hungry he was. The
last thing he’d had to eat had been some roasted chestnuts he’d bought from a
vendor around noontime. He and his mom had always eaten roasted chestnuts at
Christmas time - it was a tradition. That’s probably what had triggered all
these nostalgic memories for him today.
So intent on eyeing the food on the
table, Dan wasn’t aware of the scene change on stage until he suddenly heard
humming. Turning his head, he saw that the stage was now set as a dark street.
A cardboard cutout of an ambulance was leaning against the back wall. There was
a glowing barrel with a group of shabbily dressed people huddled around it to
the right. The nurse person was speaking to another actor, but Dan didn’t hear
her. He was intently watching the actors portraying homeless people. As nurse
began to walk around the stage, seemingly to watch the people at the barrel,
they began to sing.
Homeless,
homeless
Like the Christ Child was...we are
Homeless, homeless
but there is hope because
He came down to earth to lead us,
He vowed he’d never leave us,
Homeless, homeless
For in His love there is a home
Like the Christ Child was...we are
Homeless, homeless
but there is hope because
He came down to earth to lead us,
He vowed he’d never leave us,
Homeless, homeless
For in His love there is a home
Dan’s mouth hung open, he’d never
thought about that before. The baby Jesus had been homeless too, at one time.
Probably at several times in his life he’d not had the warmest and most
comfortable of homes. Dan and his mother hadn’t attended church regularly, but
she had tried to instill in her only child some faith and belief. He had pushed
those things to the back of his mind with other memories of his mother; trying
to avoid even more guilt than he already felt.
Homeless,
homeless
He showed it’s how we lived not where
He showed it’s how we lived not where
Now, he hung his head in
sorrow. He knew that his mother, though she would never have wanted him to live
on the streets, would’ve been happier to see him do that, and be honest, rather
than join a gang and be in trouble with the police. ‘Mom, what do I do
now?’ he cried silently.
He gave
His whole life to lead us
And I know he’ll never leave us homeless
For in His love there’s a home
We are not homeless, homeless
There is a home.
And I know he’ll never leave us homeless
For in His love there’s a home
We are not homeless, homeless
There is a home.
As the song concluded and the lights
dimmed for another scene change, Dan felt a heavy hand clasp his shoulder.
Taking a deep breath, Dan turned and saw whom he had expected to see.
The police officer spoke quietly,
not wanting to disrupt the program, "Young man, you need to come with me.
You’ve led me on quite a chase."
Nodding, Dan meekly followed him
down the hall.
Outside a squad car was waiting. As
they drove to the police station, the officer asked him some questions. He
quickly learned that Dan was an orphan who had been with the Cowhands for just
a few short months.
Easily, Dan told him about himself.
When the questions turned to the others involved in the hold up, he had clammed
up. He couldn’t bring himself to get the others in trouble, not just yet. From
what he had learned from the cop, Luke and the others had gotten away anyway.
At the police station, Dan had
repeated what he had said in the car. He would say nothing about the rest of
the gang. The sergeant in charge was getting frustrated. However, as there had
been no injuries in the botched hold up and the only thing stolen was the
silver vase that Dan had been carrying, he finally decided to send Dan to
juvenile hall until a court date could be set.
Officer Samuels, the one who had
caught him in the church, took Dan to juvenile hall. Along the way, he had
tried to get more information out of Dan about himself and the gang.
Indifferently, Dan had told him about his weeks on the street. Samuels shook
his head, "You don’t have any family to take care of
you?"
Dan shrugged, "An uncle
somewhere. I couldn’t find him."
"Where did you look?"
"The phone book. I called a
bunch of them. I only called local ones; I couldn’t afford any long distance
calls."
Samuels nodded, that made sense, in
a way. He didn’t know why, but there was something about this kid that made him
different from the other gang trash that he picked up daily. "What’s his
name?"
"Bill Regan. My mom said he was
named William but preferred Bill. From what mom said, he should be around twenty-two.
He has red hair." Dan laughed a little, "My mom seemed to think that
he’d end up with a job that involved horses ‘cause he was always crazy about
them."
As he finished this explanation, the
car pulled up in front of the hall. After being signed in, Dan sat in a locked
room while Samuels spoke with the officer on duty. Dan looked up as the officer
opened the door, Samuels was with her. "Hey kid, I’ll see what I can do to
find your uncle. Would you like that?"
The excitement in his eyes betrayed
his nonchalant, "Sure, guess it’d be okay."
"If I find anything I’ll let
you know. If we find you a relative, things will be better for you when you go
to court. Otherwise they’ll put you back in here or reform school."
The excitement died in Dan’s eyes as
he heard those words. "Okay," he replied, "Thanks." He then followed the juvenile officer down
the hall. Maybe they’d really find his uncle. Family - that would be the best
gift he would ever get - birthday or Christmas. However, for now he’d settle
for a warm place to sleep.
An hour later, as he lay in a bunk
bed surrounded by other troubled boys, he thought of his mother. ‘I’m
so sorry, Mom, really I am. I didn’t want to do any of this, but I didn’t think
I had a choice.’
The tears streamed silently down his
face as he thought about all that had gone wrong in the last few months. Drowsily
he hoped that his fifteenth year would be better than his fourteenth had been.
Maybe he’d find a home again.
For in
His love there’s a home
We are not homeless, homeless
There is a home.
We are not homeless, homeless
There is a home.
The End
Word Count: 3272
6-18-19
- The song is not a well-known common Christmas song. It is from The Forgotten Carols by Michael McLean. The song is called Homeless.
- I don’t know what would happen to Dan if he got caught like this…but I hope you can suspend reality for a bit. I also don’t know the workings of a juvenile hall, but this worked for me.
- We don’t have an actual birth date for Dan - this worked for my story…and it’s actually only a few days after what I’d originally decided his birthday was, so this is now his birthday in my universe. Also, to my knowledge, Dan’s mother’s name is never mentioned (interesting isn’t that…she’s Regan’s sister and her name is never mentioned, but his dad’s name is briefly) I figure she’d have red hair like Regan and so named her after one of my best red haired friends J
- Obviously this takes place before The Black Jacket Mystery. I’m guessing that it would take a little while to track the elusive Mr. Bill Regan down, and then go through all the paper work and court proceedings and work things out with Mr. Wheeler and Mr. Maypenny, etc.
Love this story of young Dan on the streets, trying to survive.
ReplyDeleteA gorgeous Dan backstory. Poignant and heartbreaking and yet hopeful. Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDelete